Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Your head is just there to keep your ears apart.

Submitted by: Jenn Taylor on March 25, 2018

I was born in the dark but it wasn’t last night.

Submitted by: Brenda Simmers on May 9, 2017

Don’t bother me. I’m trying to give a damn about what you just said.

Submitted by: Sean on May 8, 2017

Oh I’m sorry, were we supposed to dress stupid today?

Submitted by: Jwjssb on May 3, 2017

Person 1: What are the papers saying today?
Me: I don’t know, haven’t talked to them yet.

Submitted by: Max Charlison on May 3, 2017
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I can see your lips moving but I don’t know why.

Submitted by: Fluent on April 30, 2017

Person: Go to hell.
Me:I’m packing my bags, just promise me you won’t end up there.

Submitted by: Shafqat on November 27, 2016

Person 1: Did you just see that?!?!?!
Me: No, I wasn’t standing watching the whole time >_>.

Submitted by: Smart Sarcastic asian guy on November 23, 2016

Person 1: Whatcha reading?
Person 2: Words. Duh.

Submitted by: Savana on October 18, 2016

Sometimes some people need a high five.
On the head.
With a sledgehammer.

Submitted by: Savana on October 18, 2016

Your bae is suffering from low self-esteem, well, maybe that’s why she’s dating you.

Submitted by: @OfficialBigDzu on October 18, 2016
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Boy: Do you have any sense?
Girl: Ya, do you want some?

Submitted by: do u need on October 18, 2016

Talking to myself. Because who else will?

Submitted by: sarcasm because killing people is illegal on October 6, 2016

She: My love close your eyes and tell me what you see.
Me: Nothing.
She: This is my life without you.
Me: Now close your eyes and tell me what you see.
She: Nothing.
Me: This is what I feel for you :d

Submitted by: Hemant stephen salvatore on October 6, 2016

You just bought an expensive gift for someone.
Person: Oh my, how did you manage to buy this for me?
Me: Well, urm I just exchanged it for a lot of money.

Submitted by: Yusuf Ansari on August 15, 2016

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