Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

Submitted by: Hanni on February 15, 2009

Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

Submitted by: kate on November 26, 2013

Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

Submitted by: steph on July 29, 2008

I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”

Submitted by: Carina Aly Ceara on January 14, 2009

Police pulls over a speeding car ;
COP: I’ve been waiting for you all day.
DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could.

Submitted by: levannah on November 19, 2009

Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”

Submitted by: Rhia on May 28, 2009

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

Submitted by: Anonymous on December 18, 2009

Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business.

Submitted by: J smith on September 15, 2009

You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.

Submitted by: Emily on August 19, 2009

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

Submitted by: thwhitewolff on November 25, 2008

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Submitted by: PlayMisty4Me on January 13, 2009

Sure I’ll help you out…the same way you came in.

Submitted by: Chantel on June 11, 2009

You: Go to Hell!
Me: See you there.

Submitted by: Jen on December 8, 2008

Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?

Submitted by: therandomone on November 28, 2008

Think I am sarcastic?
Watch me pretend to care!

Submitted by: Noem Miranda on July 22, 2008

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