Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

My dad: “Is the only thing you can do is be an a$$?”
My reply: “No, I come with sarcasm 3. 0.”

Submitted by: DrWhatver on May 26, 2012

I don’t want to say I told you so. Because I just did.

Submitted by: angel on November 3, 2011

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Sometimes some people need a high five.
On the head.
With a sledgehammer.

Submitted by: Savana on October 18, 2016

Yes I missed you, but if you come closer my aim is about to get better.
OMG, Did you feel that.. I think the world just revolved around me.. I guess you were wrong.

Submitted by: Laulaus on October 7, 2011

Woman 1 – Do you like my new jeans?
Woman 2 – wow yes… Do they come in women sizes?

Submitted by: daniel on June 7, 2010

I’m married but it’s not serious.

Submitted by: Ryder on November 13, 2011

One thing I know is sarcasm is painful euphemism.
Try not to be sarcastic when you are not, it’s just as difficult as walking with your nose.
Sarcasm is a skill meant for a chosen few.

Submitted by: Victoria on June 8, 2012

1st Person: I totally hate you!!
2nd Person: And I totally care!!

Submitted by: marieaa ;) on August 25, 2011

I’ll give you five seconds to find hell.
– Sweetie, I’m already there (:

Submitted by: Haylee on March 12, 2012

We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.


I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.

Person 1: Did you fall?
Person 2: No, a bunch a kids wanted to play ping pong with my a**.

Submitted by: IAmunknown on April 10, 2013

It’s always the last place you look for it… Of course it is! Why would you keep looking if you found it?
I’m not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?

Submitted by: imaqt on September 19, 2011

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

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