Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

This is my cup of care… _/ … Oh! Would you look at that, it’s empty!

Submitted by: Lexi-Lou on November 30, 2011

Bro: Did you see my pen?
Me: No, do you wanna see mine?

Submitted by: GKB PSYCHO.unit on April 5, 2010

Should I bring ladder so you can step out of my business?

Submitted by: Elia on September 5, 2010

I’m sorry I was talking, while you were interrupting me.

Submitted by: dmitch on January 26, 2011

You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.

Submitted by: iyad on February 13, 2010

There is a strong need for a sarcasm font.

Submitted by: nnaeel on January 11, 2011

I feel like we’re apart when we’re in the same room! But If you keep talking, you’ll ruin the illusion.

Submitted by: Mass Of Thumbs on January 2, 2010
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No, I’m not ignoring you…I just lost interest in what you were about to say.

Submitted by: Mass Of Thumbs on January 2, 2010

Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?

Submitted by: Didget on March 19, 2011

Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.

Submitted by: Mass Of Thumbs on January 2, 2010

I’m not good at giving advice…how about sarcasm?

Submitted by: stop_bing_me on July 28, 2010

Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.

Submitted by: eeinjhel on February 15, 2012

How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

Submitted by: prplraines on October 6, 2011

You: Go to hell.
Me: I go on vacations there.

Submitted by: Vuyie on March 23, 2013

Do I know Sarcasm? Why yes he’s my best friend…

Submitted by: 'Lil miss giggle on August 22, 2008
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Last time I checked I didn’t ask for your opinion.

Submitted by: chirs on December 3, 2011

3 A.M. Phone call… Hey are you asleep?… No I’m sky diving!

Submitted by: Dannie on September 21, 2010

Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.

Submitted by: Ishamael on March 22, 2010

Mom: Have you picked out what you’re wearing to school tomorrow?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: What is it?
Me: Clothes!

Submitted by: Ylime Eyaf Steehs on May 28, 2013

Text : Hey, you up??!!
Text response: Nope, just fell asleep an hour ago. . .

Submitted by: OMGOSH ITS ME! on June 29, 2010

It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.

Submitted by: David S on April 14, 2010

Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?

Submitted by: Peter on February 23, 2012

A: I hate ugly things.
B: So I’m sure that you hate mirrors.

Submitted by: Roojole on July 3, 2011

There’s a fine like between being tanned, and looking like you rolled in Doritos.

Submitted by: MCMLXXXVII on May 25, 2011

You: What are you doing?
Me: The answer to that question will be revealed from the God given thing that we call eyes.

Submitted by: aastha on January 10, 2011
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Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.

Submitted by: Unknown on March 29, 2012

One second…oh okay found it… Here is my cellphone, call someone who cares…

Submitted by: ThisOnesFunny on January 30, 2010

Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?

Submitted by: Jim on September 4, 2010

I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!

Submitted by: kyliek on November 2, 2011

Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.

Submitted by: N413z on April 12, 2010

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