Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

My loyalty cannot be bought, however, it can be rented.

Submitted by: Shalamar2k2 on October 6, 2008

I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it.

Submitted by: steve on October 27, 2009

Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.

Submitted by: cheesefri on November 17, 2011

Sarcasm (n.) – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it…!

Submitted by: vasso on December 9, 2010

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!

Submitted by: lisa on September 10, 2008
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You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.

Submitted by: aniesha on August 11, 2009

You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why

Submitted by: SR on March 9, 2010

Person 1: Can I ask you a question?
Person 2: You just did!

Submitted by: Alisha on June 6, 2010

“I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
“It’s in the phone book.”
“But I don’t know your name.”
“That’s in the phone book too.”
You’re so cool.
Any cooler and you would be me.

Submitted by: mandy on December 4, 2009

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.

Submitted by: nicolw on July 6, 2010

Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…

Submitted by: carlos on August 24, 2010
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3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!

Submitted by: Jox_Touchdown on January 19, 2013

SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH! I smell something

Submitted by: I LOVE BOONE on May 15, 2010

Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”

Submitted by: Jub Jub on August 14, 2010

My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.

Submitted by: vera lemon on February 7, 2010

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