Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Man, I sure do hate a bag of air with chips in it.

Submitted by: Iamunknown on April 11, 2013

Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.

Submitted by: jennifer on November 29, 2010

B*tch at least I still remember planetary motion. The world revolves around the sun.

Submitted by: derek dsemre on January 5, 2013

You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.

Submitted by: Jared on September 29, 2011

Are you going to school tomorrow?
Nah, I’m riding my unicorn to Mars instead.

Submitted by: Jj on December 15, 2011

Awww that`s so cute!
you actually think I care…

Submitted by: Tinker on October 21, 2009

I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.

Submitted by: Jessica on February 1, 2012

I don’t know what you’re problem is. . . But I’m pretty sure it’s hard to pronounce.

Submitted by: Lex on September 10, 2010

It’s your lie…tell it however you want!

Submitted by: Angie Bryant on October 13, 2010

Person: Go to hell
You: As long as you won’t be there

Submitted by: Kaya on January 16, 2011

Oh, I’m sorry. Were you under the impression that I value your opinion?

Submitted by: Everybodyhatesmeh on July 10, 2011

Oh, you deleted me on Facebook. Is that your final revenge? What’s next… You throw a fruit loop at the back of

my head and expect it to hurt?

Submitted by: Liz G on January 2, 2012

How could I possibly refuse? No thank you.

Submitted by: Marlin on April 8, 2009

Don’t worry you’re not as dumb as you look.

Submitted by: chyenne on November 27, 2009

You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..

Submitted by: Chris on December 15, 2011

Person: Hey you!
Person #2: Me?
Person: No, the person that’s not standing next to you!

Submitted by: Name on April 13, 2010

Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.

Submitted by: Brighton on February 28, 2011

The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out of 10 doctors would prescribe.

Submitted by: shawnn on June 8, 2013

Person 1: What do you think we should make for dinner?
Person 2: Food.

Submitted by: Iamunknown on April 11, 2013

I find it funny…
But I have forgotten how to laugh..

Submitted by: Siiana on April 12, 2012

You’re so cheap.
Yeah! & still you can’t afford me!

Submitted by: Vipul on October 1, 2011

Some one comes to your house.
Them: Do you have a bathroom?
You: No, we just go in the back yard!

Submitted by: 1999:) 2012:) on June 11, 2012

Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.

Submitted by: whitecat on December 2, 2010

You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”

Submitted by: Kurt on August 23, 2010

Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.

Submitted by: Iamunknown on March 27, 2013

How very observant of you there captain obvious.

Submitted by: Lima Tiapula on March 10, 2013

A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?”
My response: You’re as straight as a circle.

Submitted by: Aj on January 25, 2013

Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

Submitted by: Liz G on January 2, 2012

Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

Submitted by: livelaff on October 24, 2011

I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!

Submitted by: kyliek on November 2, 2011

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