Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.

Submitted by: Darian on May 12, 2013

WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

Submitted by: jo-c on February 11, 2010

Person 1: You look great !
Person 2: Sorry ! I can’t say the same about you.
Person 1: Just do like me … Lie !

Submitted by: Cii on November 18, 2010

Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.

Submitted by: GaiaGadzook on September 17, 2009

You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!

Submitted by: Biteme on February 24, 2010

Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.

Submitted by: ninja on June 18, 2010

Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?

Submitted by: GumboCharlie on October 10, 2011

Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you everyday!

Submitted by: Pugbear on May 12, 2010

Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.

Submitted by: m&m on September 4, 2010

Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.

Submitted by: michelle on April 15, 2010

Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.

Submitted by: chellaki on August 26, 2010

If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.

Submitted by: derek dsemre on May 5, 2013

Person: Go to hell!
Me: I must already be in Hell since you’re still standing here.

Submitted by: Nick on December 14, 2012

About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.

Submitted by: reddevil109 on March 8, 2011

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