Quotes by George Carlin

It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn’t afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.
- George Carlin

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- George Carlin