Quotes by George Carlin

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.
– George Carlin

It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn’t afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.
– George Carlin

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
– George Carlin

I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking. And apparently I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
– George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
– George Carlin

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
– George Carlin

Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
– George Carlin

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
– George Carlin

People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point
– George Carlin

Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.
– George Carlin

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