Quotes by George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
– George Carlin

Quote: Have you ever noticed that anybody driving...

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Atheism is a non- prophet organization.
– George Carlin

Quote: Atheism is a non- prophet organization. –...

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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
– George Carlin

Governments don’t want well informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. That is against their interests.

They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept it.
– George Carlin

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
– George Carlin

Quote: Inside every cynical person, there is a...

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I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.
– George Carlin

Quote: I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16...

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Don’t just teach your children to read…Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.
– George Carlin

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.
– George Carlin

I have certain rules I live by…My first rule, I don’t believe anything the government tells me.
– George Carlin

Quote: I have certain rules I live by…My...

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Don’t let self-doubt interfere with plans to improve your life.
– George Carlin

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