Facebook Status Quotes - Page 2
I’m cle’a[ni.ng m'y' ke]yb36oa;rd.
I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.
Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?
Don’t piss me off then tell me to calm down, that’s like stabbing someone and then asking why they’re bleeding.
Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.
Jack will update his Facebook status for money!
Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.
Not a Facebook fantasy
Quit acting like someone else.
Who says I’m not in shape? Round’s a shape, isn’t it?
Ian just found out that they took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!
Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!
Jessie took the “Are you spending too much time on Facebook” quiz and the result is “No – You should spend much more time”. Jessie shot the computer.
Cleo really wishes she could but, I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Ruby says it’s been a business doing pleasure with you.
Sonia has found love in Facebook. She is from Bangladesh and “vhan day vill reesh amehica”.
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.
Whoever said facebook was a good idea, “Let me share my dull life with the rest of the planet.” ?
Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors and depression meet up for coffee.
Single doesn’t always mean lonely and relationship doesn’t always mean happy.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.
47% of all statistics are worthless.
Facebook should have an ‘Enemy List’
Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.
Lauren lives vicariously… Through herself.
Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.
I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive facebook checking disorder). I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Please pray for me.
Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
You don’t have to like me, I’m not Facebook status.
I keep my page public so my haters have something to do.(:
If you’re going to spread lies and rumors about me on Facebook… Feel free to tag me.;)
Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.