Scientists have discovered, how to use females tongues to produce electricity! Wow, silence and electricity both obtained simultaneously!
Just called the police on my girlfriend. She hasn’t committed a crime, I just want them to come and remind her she has the right to remain silent.
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
– Phyllis Diller
What I don’t understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
– Jerry Seinfeld
I think the inventor of the mirror is a man who was tired of always being asked how do I look by his wife.
I don’t think women are better than men, but I do think that men are worse than women.
– Louis C.K.
Getting in an argument with a woman is like being arrested, because anything you say can and will be used against you.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
– Chris Rock
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
– Chris Rock
Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.
You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.
I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool and a SPA.
– Some Woman
When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..
Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
– Robin Williams
Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
– George Carlin
When a woman has nothing left to argue, she will either ignore you, cry or remember that thing until she takes revenge on that.
I’m a woman.. I’m smart. I never loose an argument. I can cook. I like to read fashion magazines. I love to be right. Men don’t understand us. We must have secret powers, because I don’t understand us, either.
The male body has seven trillion nerves and only a woman knows “How to get on every single one of them?”
What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.
I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.