Short Funny Quotes - Page 7

Sorted by: Popularity | Newest First

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.
Dave Barry

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales?
– Charles Saatchi

Funny Quote: Many people cycle or swim to keep...

Embed Code

When people give you dirty looks, the dirt is on their face not yours.

Submitted by: Billy JC Laverty

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
Ellen Degeneres

Funny Quote: Accept who you are. Unless you’re a...

Embed Code

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Dave Barry

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Dave Barry

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
Dave Barry

Beauty tips. How to look younger: Don’t be born so soon.
Charles M. Schulz

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Dave Barry

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Bill Watterson

Funny Quote: The surest sign that intelligent life exists...

Embed Code
Copyright © 2006-2015 - All rights reserved.