Short Funny Quotes

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
Mark Twain

If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Last night I didn’t sleep for a solid eight hours. No, it melted a little. Damn global warming.
Jarod Kintz

Be careful when you blindly follow the Masses… Sometimes the ‘M’ is silent.
Leonardo DiCaprio

It’s fine if you don’t like me. Not everyone has a good taste.
Leonardo DiCaprio

CHEERS TO THE ONES WHO DOUBTED ME.
Leonardo DiCaprio

Cheers to my Haters, There is so much more to come!!!
Leonardo DiCaprio

I’m 97% sure you don’t like me. But I’m 100% sure i don’t care.
Leonardo DiCaprio

If I had to describe myself to an alien I’d say I was bigger than the average human, enjoy a drink or two with a good meal and have a bigger head than most. I’d also say I’m really handsome – especially if they were a female alien.
Dwayne Johnson

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