Short Funny Quotes

If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Last night I didn’t sleep for a solid eight hours. No, it melted a little. Damn global warming.
Jarod Kintz

Be careful when you blindly follow the Masses… Sometimes the ‘M’ is silent.
Leonardo DiCaprio

It’s fine if you don’t like me. Not everyone has a good taste.
Leonardo DiCaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio

Cheers to my Haters, There is so much more to come!!!
Leonardo DiCaprio

I’m 97% sure you don’t like me. But I’m 100% sure i don’t care.
Leonardo DiCaprio

If I had to describe myself to an alien I’d say I was bigger than the average human, enjoy a drink or two with a good meal and have a bigger head than most. I’d also say I’m really handsome – especially if they were a female alien.
Dwayne Johnson

It’s great fun to chat to people’s friends and family members on the phone. I just say `hello, how are you’, but most of the time they don’t believe it’s me. So sometimes they hang up on me.
Tom Cruise

If a boy has to see a film then he must see it with a girl only … otherwise it is an insult of the film, insult of the theater and insult of the entire audience in the theater
Movie: Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein
Star: Anupam Kher

What a thing a woman is … if you say anything then her face swells … and if you do anything then her belly swells
Movie: Chashme Baddoor (2013)
Star: Anupam Kher

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