Short Funny Quotes - Page 7

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Animals need to eat. But so do we.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

Monday again?
Seriously though, I cannot keep doing this every week!

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Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy everything else.

It is better to be rich & miserable than poor & miserable.

My ancestors didn’t fight their way to the top of the food chain so I could be a vegetarian.

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The pen may be mightier than the sword…but no one in braveheart carried one.

Submitted by: M.J. McGuire

Hitch your wagon to a star…but not a supernova.
– M.J. McGuire

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Submitted by: M.J. McGuire

The early bird gets the word. The worm gets his head chewed off by a sharp beak with serrated edges.
– M.J. McGuire

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Submitted by: M.J. McGuire

A good man is hard to find. A good midget is ever harder to find…especially in a large crowd.
– M.J. McGuire

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Submitted by: M.J. McGuire

If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.

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Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, damn you’re good.

Submitted by: shabalaba

Why’d the metaphysical chicken cross the road? He didn’t. He astro-projected over it while lucid dreaming, thus avoiding bad karma and reducing his chances of coming back in the next life as a cracked egg, ready for the skillet.

Submitted by: M.J. McGuire
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