American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.
There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it. – Mark Twain
Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out. – Mark Twain
I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. – Mark Twain
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. – Mark Twain
The Bible is a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology – Mark Twain
If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything. – Mark Twain
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty- four. – Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances. – Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. – Mark Twain
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation. – Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing, Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. – Mark Twain
A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse. – Mark Twain
Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul. – Mark Twain
A nation is only an individual multiplied. – Mark Twain
The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example – Mark Twain
An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice. – Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. – Mark Twain
It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. – Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. – Mark Twain
We are all alike on the inside. – Mark Twain
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