Mark Twain Quotes

American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.

Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience.
– Mark Twain

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It is easier to stay out than get out.
– Mark Twain

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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
– Mark Twain

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When in doubt, tell the truth.
– Mark Twain

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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
– Mark Twain

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God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.
– Mark Twain

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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn’t want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
– Mark Twain

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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
– Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi

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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
– Mark Twain

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If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go.
– Mark Twain

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The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
– Mark Twain

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The Bible has noble poetry in it… And some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
– Mark Twain

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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
– Mark Twain

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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
– Mark Twain

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I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
– Mark Twain

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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
– Mark Twain

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To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.
– Mark Twain

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If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
– Mark Twain

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I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
– Mark Twain

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Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
– Mark Twain

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