Divorce Quotes and Sayings

There is no safe way to remain in a relationship with a person who has no conscience. The only solution is to escape.

The moment that you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do.

No, I’m not divorced but my parents are. They got divorced when I was seven years old. I wanna tell you that its hard. My parents dislike each other very much and its hard for me to grow up knowing that I am not completely full. But I wanna tell you something else. Be happy that they are divorced cause if they did it then they probably weren’t right for each other. Had they continued hiding the pain the emotions would fly out causing even more pain. So be grateful for what you do have.

Emotional abuse is the silent marriage killer.

Divorce was the only way to disprove his wife’s complaint that his standards were too low.
Alan Robert Neal

An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce.
– Ann Landers

More divorces start in the bedroom than in any other room in the house.
– Ann Landers

Confession may be good for the soul, but it’s an uncut Hope diamond for a divorce attorney.

My wife and I are preemptively making a list of whose side we’ll take when all our friends get divorced.

Divorce, because squeezing the toothpaste bottle in the middle is unforgivable.

To be fair, in most divorces the house is split evenly. The women get the inside, the men get the outside
– Bruce ?

One of the hardest things in the world is pretending to be surprised that a friend is getting divorced.
– Julius Sharpe ?

The judge said, “All the money, and we’ll just shorten it to ‘alimony.'”
– Robin Williams

It’s tough. After five years of marriage, it’s difficult to lose the one with the good credit rating.
– Rich Voss

When we got divorced, all my wife was willing to give me custody of was the yard work.
– Melanie White

Divorce, n. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
Ambrose Bierce

Divorce, n: A bugle blast that separates the combatants and makes them fight at long range.
Ambrose Bierce

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
– Jean Kerr

The only grounds for divorce in California are marriage.
– Cher

A friend of mine recently divorced his wife after 37 years. He said he was looking for a some-sex relationship.
– Greg Tamblyn

Our parents got divorced when we were kids, and it was kind of cool. We got to go to divorce court with them. It was like a game show. My mom won the house and the car. We were all excited. My dad got some luggage.
– Tom Arnold

Even as a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me … and no one showed up.
– Rodney Dangerfield

It’s hard to talk to divorced men, always sensitive from the divorce. They take things the wrong way. “Nice day, don’t you think?” “I don’t want to make a commitment.” “Want half of my ice cream?” “I don’t want half of anything anymore.”
– Elayne Boosler

Half of all marriages end in divorce – and then there are the really unhappy ones.
– Joan Rivers

Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. That’s scary. If the smartest guy in the world can’t figure out women, we’re screwed.
– Jay Leno

When it comes to divorce, absence may not make the heart grow fonder, but it sure cuts down on the gunplay.
– Eileen Courtney

I wasn’t actually divorced. I was traded.
– Tim Conway

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.
Henny Youngman

When I divorced I went through the various stages of grieving: anger, denial, and dancing around with my settlement check.
– Maura Kennedy

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.
– Jack Benny

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