A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.
My golf score seems to improve considerably when I have the score card.
My worst day at golf still beats my best day at work.
Swing hard, in case you hit it!
I hold several records on the golf course, but they all pertain to beer.
I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.
I never found golf interesting, but then I learned that’s just where men go to let go of there anger.
Golf has produced a lot of millionaires…most of them are former billionaires.
If you’ve forgotten what frustration is like, spend 10 minutes on a golf course.
Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
– Hank Aaron
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
– Lee Trevino
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret
If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.
– Sam Snead
I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.
– Muhammad Ali (When asked about his Golf game)
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.
– George Deukmejian
A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you are… that’s why I get so many calls to play with friends.
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
– Bob Hope
Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
– Paul Harvey
Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.
You’ve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.
– Sam Snead
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards ?
– Al Boliska
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods
I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
– Gerald Ford
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
– Winston Churchill
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
– P.J. O’Rourke
Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
– G. K. Chesterton
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
– Phyllis Diller
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
– Ben Hogan
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.
– H. G. Wells
My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex- wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
– Lee Trevino
I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
– Buddy Hackett
I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
– Rogers Hornsby
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon
You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
– Billy Graham
I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop
The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.
Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan
Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.
To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!
I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.
He ain’t no tiger… He’s a cheetah.
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny