Golf is flog backwards. And golfing is just one drawn- out self- flogging which costs you money.
Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 40 years and I still haven’t the slightest idea of how to play. – Gary Player
His swing looks like he’s fighting off a swarm of bees His putting stroke looks like he is trying to kick- start a Harley.
They named it GOLF because all the other Four- Letter words were taken.
Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well.
The difference between a great golfer and an average golfer is not that a great golfer is incapable of hitting a poor shot, it is what he does after that shot.
We learn so many things from golf – how to suffer, for instance. – Bruce Lansky
It says something about the stupidity of a game where the lowest negative score wins.
That ball rolled like a dead rat in a corn field.
A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible.
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. – Dave Barry
A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent’s luck.
Gone golfin’ … be back dark thirty.
That was the right club with the wrong guy swinging it.
If it goes right it’s a slice. If it goes left it’s a hook. If it goes straight it’s a miracle.
The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. – Mickey Mantle
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
I really, really do not like golf, I simply just love it.
I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. I’m really worried about myself. I was actually enjoying it. – Ewan McGregor
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