A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. – Phyllis Diller
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend. – Rodney Dangerfield
“I won’t have another drink my wife said if I am not home by 9 -45, my life is not worth living”. His friend said “what are you a man or a mouse”. He said “I am a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me”.
Today I celebrate 14 years of married life. I can’t remember breaking two mirrors.
A friend of mine once asked his wife, where she wanted to go for their anniversary. His wife said “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”..So… He took her to the kitchen.
Marriage means commitment, so does insanity…
The four most important words in marriage are: “I’ll do the dishes”. Pierre & Marysa
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. – Helen Rowland
Women marry for prosperity, development and security whereas men marry for enjoyment, destruction and insecurity.
A woman before marriage is your very best friend, after marriage she’s just a plain old’ dog.
Why dogs don’t get married? Because they are already leading a dog’s life.
Marriage is a sentence… A life sentence.
They say marriage is life, they also say life ain’t fair.
When a man goes down on his knees to ask a women to marry him, and she says yes, he remains on his knees forever.
If marriages are made in heaven… Then it’s obvious that someone up there doesn’t like us.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it. – Helen Rowland
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me. – Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is an institution in which those who are out want to get in and those who are in want to get out.
I now truly believe “happily married” is an oxymoron.
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. – Rodney Dangerfield
Copyright © 2006-2024 - Browse Quotes By Subject | Browse Quotes By Author | About Us | Blog | FAQ | Privacy Policy