Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. – Henny Youngman
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!! – Bill Maher
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !
A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man! WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOU’RE DONE”! A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”! Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either! When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”! If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!
Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, he wears. I shop, he pays!
Some remain single and make wonders happen. Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen. The rest get married and wonder what happened.
The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.
Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.
Make love and not war Or, find someone, marry them And you can do both!
Funniest contradicting phrases: 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Act naturally 5.Found missing 6.Fully empty 7.Happily married
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!
A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. – Clint Eastwood
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. – Albert Einstein
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner
Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner
The only mistake for which people are congratulated is marriage.
My husband wears the pants in my house… The ones I pick.
Son: Dad, is it true that marriage costs a lot? Father: I don’t know son, still paying…
My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
Two men were talking and one said for their 10th anniversary he took his wife to Hawaii. Said for their 20th he might go back and get her.
Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.
My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. – Evelyn Hendrickson
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married? – Barbra Streisand
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. – Groucho Marx
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. – Joey Adams
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
Copyright © 2006-2023 - Browse Quotes By Subject | Browse Quotes By Author | About Us | Blog | FAQ | Privacy Policy
