Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
– Bill Maher
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOU’RE DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!
When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !
Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, he wears. I shop, he pays!
The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.
The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.
Funniest contradicting phrases:
1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.Small crowd
4.Act naturally
5.Found missing
6.Fully empty
7.Happily married
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.
Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.
African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.
Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!
Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.
Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
– Clint Eastwood
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.