Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

Submitted by: Prady on January 22, 2013

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Submitted by: Nabil on November 4, 2009

Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!

Submitted by: payal on August 9, 2013

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.

Submitted by: ramakochhar on September 28, 2013

My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!

Submitted by: harleyrose_80 on September 21, 2007

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)

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Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Every man wants a wife who is...

Submitted by: Jack on May 12, 2012

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!

Submitted by: Amrik Singh on December 1, 2010

A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOU’RE DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!

Submitted by: Earl Jones on January 20, 2009

When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !

Submitted by: John on July 31, 2010

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

Submitted by: SOSY on September 22, 2013

Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.

Submitted by: Alex on January 16, 2011

In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, he wears. I shop, he pays!

The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.

Submitted by: Freddy on April 8, 2010
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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.

Submitted by: Carrie on June 6, 2011

The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.

Submitted by: stephen on February 6, 2010

Funniest contradicting phrases:
1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.Small crowd
4.Act naturally
5.Found missing
6.Fully empty
7.Happily married

Submitted by: Alex on January 16, 2011

Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Submitted by: Jack on May 12, 2010

A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Submitted by: K.R on March 31, 2013

African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.

Submitted by: Nii ofori on August 4, 2009

Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.

Submitted by: nancy saliba on November 22, 2009

Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

Submitted by: Zeenat Essa on February 14, 2009

Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.

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Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian) on January 11, 2013

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood

Submitted by: Mr.QuiLnet on April 15, 2008

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: Jake on June 21, 2010

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

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