Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.

Submitted by: tina trotter

Nothing but the future lies ahead.

Submitted by: Bud Black

Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.

Submitted by: amy o

I’m busier than a one legged man in a a** kicking contest.

Submitted by: Bemard

You may think the grass is greener on the other side, it may be because there’s more manure there!

Submitted by: Kathy Ashton

If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.

Submitted by: Keith

The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
– Abraham Lincoln

Submitted by: Tool.Tech

If I host a party with style, I’m I really hostile?
If two ants elope, are they antelopes?
If I keep standing outside, I’m I outstanding?
If I did not take a seat for a whole night, I’m I a one- night- stand?

Submitted by: Akerele Oluranti Pourl

An important rule of procrastination: do it today but remember that today will be today again tomorrow.

Submitted by: Phil Sanchez

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow

Submitted by: chris harder

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.

Submitted by: chris harder

I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott

Submitted by: Brenna

I lost 20 pounds but I’m sure I’ll find them at McDonald’s.

Submitted by: nam

I used to think that money was the root of all evil until I wanted to commit a robbery when I was broke.

Submitted by: nam

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily

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