I don’t drink anymore. I don’t drink any less either.
Alcohol – Because no great story every started with someone eating a salad.
Tequila… Making ugly men look good since the 16th century.
People drink to get rid of the pain they are going through. Some drink and hope when they close their eye that they will never be awake to feel the pain.
I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday and when it’s not my birthday.
If water is the universal solvent, then beer is the universal solution!
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, neither does the milk.
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time. – Catherine Zandonella
If you start talking to the beer bottle you’re drunk, if the beer bottle talks back you’re WASTED!
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Listen, I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’ – Jack Handey
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me. – Hunter S. Thompson
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. – W. C. Fields
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
The whole world is about three drinks behind. – Humphrey Bogart
I have a drinking problem… I can’t find my beer.
Make it a night you won’t forget, not one you can’t remember.
The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies. – William Temple
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