Quotes by Chris Rock

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. Of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
– Chris Rock

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
– Chris Rock

You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullsh*t. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
– Chris Rock

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
– Chris Rock

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
– Chris Rock

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
– Chris Rock

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
– Chris Rock

I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? “Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.”
– Chris Rock

Men are as faithful as their options.
– Chris Rock

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
– Chris Rock

You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.
– Chris Rock

A sense of humor is great – it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
– Chris Rock

Funny is only something that others know about you – you can’t be funny by yourself.
– Chris Rock

If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. If she tells you she’s twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she’s damn near forty.
— Chris Rock

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you’re ahead of the game.
— Chris Rock

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