To obstruct advice, just trick the advice-giver into having the wrong conversation. If I pretend I think pizza is good for me, you’ll uselessly discuss nutrition. But, if I admit to knowing it’s not, you’d know to address my lack of discipline.
– Alan Robert Neal
People who negotiate relationships with the phrase “If you love me, you would [fill in the blank],” never genuinely experience any of the love they’re offered.
– Alan Robert Neal
Just because your friends have not told you the hard truth doesn’t mean it’s not true. It probably means you’re not open to hearing it.
– Alan Robert Neal
In etymology, the origin of desperate is despair. In life, the origin of despair is desperation.
– Alan Robert Neal
The behavior you choose when denied what you want could be the reason you’re not getting what you want.
– Alan Robert Neal
Emotional turmoil is rooted in what we miss, deny, or forget about ourselves and others.
– Alan Robert Neal
I don’t know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of my own handshake, to look into my eyes, or to hear my voice. We can only know how we are perceived by asking others.
– Alan Robert Neal
To avoid unpleasant tasks, you might say, “I can’t,” instead of “I don’t want to.” It’s ineffective when the other person doesn’t believe you, and self-defeating when you do.
– Alan Robert Neal
The problem with acting as your own advisor is that you’re often seeking advice from the person who created the problem.
– Alan Robert Neal
Give up the notion that any single event or accomplishment leads to lifelong happiness.
– Alan Robert Neal
If you’re a walking statement in how you speak, dress, and demand attention, the message you’re conveying is that you’re not enough.
– Alan Robert Neal
The injustices people fear are frequently the ones they perpetrate.
– Alan Robert Neal
Some people dismiss their own hurtful words with the excuse that they were drunk, angry, or tired. But, those conditions and others don’t change our beliefs; they only indicate our comfort in revealing them.
– Alan Robert Neal
Those who consistently succeed are faithful to their personal formula for success, while those who consistently fail relentlessly cling to their personal formula for failure.
– Alan Robert Neal
We should never criticize ourselves for how long it took to learn a lesson. We should just be thankful that we learned it.
– Alan Robert Neal
One of the advantages of getting older is having less energy to sustain attachments to the unimportant.
– Alan Robert Neal
The best technique for thwarting your own growth is declaring someone’s suggestion as “too easy” or “too hard”. You never have to do anything. Of course, you also don’t get anywhere.
– Alan Robert Neal
Wearing clothes that compliment your physique, as opposed to those that highlight it, reveals whether you’re comfortable with who you are or just pretending to be.
– Alan Robert Neal
The benefit of choosing self-responsibility, over blaming someone else, is that you have an in with the person who can do something about it.
– Alan Robert Neal
We spend our lives being controlled by the perceptions, conclusions, and solutions of a five year-old.
– Alan Robert Neal
The benefit of not being in control is being free of the burden to be right.
– Alan Robert Neal
The more you regard yourself as special, the lonelier you’ll be.
– Alan Robert Neal
He was the most content person they had ever met – surely more than them – but that didn’t stop them from suggesting what they thought he should do differently.
– Alan Robert Neal
Preconceived notions are like dark sunglasses worn indoors. You see just enough to detect big shapes, and not enough to discern crucial details.
– Alan Robert Neal
Those listening for what they want to hear are pacified. Those available for what they need to hear are improved.
– Alan Robert Neal
Commitments can never be passive.
– Alan Robert Neal
It’s tempting to use lack of knowledge as an excuse. For instance… Want to learn how to relax? You could wait until you can find the time to take meditation classes, or you could sit down right now and pet your dog for thirty minutes.
– Alan Robert Neal
Entitlement kills relationships.
– Alan Robert Neal
Wishes don’t lead to actions.
– Alan Robert Neal
We confront our worst behaviors when their cost exceeds our fear.
– Alan Robert Neal