Bill Maher Quotes

American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, media critic, and television host.

Suicide is man’s way of telling God, “You can’t fire me – I quit.”
– Bill Maher

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You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
– Bill Maher

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I’ll show you Obama’s birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin’s high school diploma.
– Bill Maher

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Suicide is a way of telling God, You can’t fire me I quit!!!!!
– Bill Maher

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We have a Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
– Bill Maher

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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
– Bill Maher

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The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
– Bill Maher

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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
– Bill Maher

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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
– Bill Maher

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I think religion is a neurological disorder.
– Bill Maher

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Be out of the mainstream. I’m out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?
– Bill Maher

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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
– Bill Maher

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Men are only as loyal as their options.
– Bill Maher

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Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.
– Bill Maher

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Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
– Bill Maher

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True patriotism is doing something for your country.
– Bill Maher

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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
– Bill Maher

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The “Power of One” is a slogan-not a goal.
– Bill Maher

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People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it’s some sort of art medium, and it’s not. Others think it’s an entertainment medium, it’s not that either. It’s an advertising medium. It’s a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine.
– Bill Maher

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Not doing anything is doing something and choosing to look away is a passive but no less mortal sin.
– Bill Maher

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Fascism is when corporations become the government.
– Bill Maher

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What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country
– Bill Maher

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