Quotes by Garrison Keillor

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: The highlight of my childhood was making...

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Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Be well, do good work, and keep...

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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Nothing you do for children is ever...

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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Cats are intended to teach us that...

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It’s a shallow life that doesn’t give a person a few scars.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: It’s a shallow life that doesn’t give...

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Beauty isn’t worth thinking about; what’s important is your mind. You don’t want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Beauty isn’t worth thinking about; what’s important...

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Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It’s not the point of the thing, is it?
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Marrying for sex is like flying to...

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Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Sex is good, but not as good...

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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: A lovely thing about Christmas is that...

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Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Life is unjust and this is what...

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If the government can round up someone and never be required to explain why, then it’s no longer the United States of America as you and I always understood it. Our enemies have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. They have made us become like them.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: If the government can round up someone...

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Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Sometimes you have to look reality in...

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If you lived today as if it were your last, you’d buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn’t you?
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: If you lived today as if it...

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One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don’t read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: One reads books in order to gain...

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God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: God writes a lot of comedy… the...

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I think the most un-American thing you can say is, “You can’t say that.”
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: I think the most un-American thing you...

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Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Thank you, dear God, for this good...

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Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: Some luck lies in not getting what...

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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
– Garrison Keillor

Quote: You get old and you realize there...

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