Wife : What is the difference between complete and Finish?
Kapil : If you marry the right girl your life gets COMPLETE. and if you marry the wrong girl your life gets FINISHED
Man : Which is the oldest animal on earth?
Kapil : Zebra. Because it is still white and black.
I am always scared before going on stage; this is the fear which makes me do well.
– Kapil Sharma
I grew up thinking that I would become a fighter pilot and was fascinated by aircrafts as I had grown up around that. But my father encouraged me to not become an Air Force person, given the varied interests I had, be it books, movies, sports or fighter flying.
– Kapil Sharma
Man : A snake is biting your wife. Do something.
Kapil : It ain’t biting. Its that the snakes venom has come to an end and not it is getting it recharged from my wife.
Every artist says that he/she wants to do something challenging, and I’m not any different. If someone approaches me with a serious role, I’ll be more than happy.
– Kapil Sharma
Kapil : How is your wife?
Shahrukh : An angel from heaven. And yours?
Kapil : Still Alive.
Kapil : If anything happens to me during operation, You get married to the doctor.
Wife: Why?
Kapil : It’s the only way to take a good revenge.
Kapil : What are you doing nowadays?
Man : PHD
Kapil : Wao, Doctor
Man : No its Pizza Home Delievery
My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn’t aware is a punch line.
– Kapil Sharma
People think I am funny all the time. But I am not. I am serious, too. Also, I enjoy serious, dramatic films.
– Kapil Sharma
The problem with feature filmmaking is that it offers you this mirage of being able to achieve perfection, as the theory of it is that you have control of every part of the film, though in reality, it is as inexact as the next thing in your life.
– Kapil Sharma
People tell me that my appearance in real life is better than on-screen. Perhaps people think I am exactly like the characters I play on TV.
– Kapil Sharma