With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me. – Rodney Dangerfield
The secret to a good marriage is… Divorce!!
Kapil : How is your wife? Shahrukh : An angel from heaven. And yours? Kapil : Still Alive.
After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful. – Navjot Sidhu
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one. – Helen Rowland
Wife: Worries Invited For Ever
Another word for a court judge saying “you are sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor” is marriage.
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get in it, it ain’t so hot.
If he’s getting married, he’s not longer interesting. – Colette
A happy marriage is a balancing act between “Rocking” & “On the rocks”.
My wife says I never listen to her. (Or something like that)
Marriage is the most attractive jail “Cell” in which you choose to turn yourself in.
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
Marriage is, above all else, the leading cause of divorce.
I would be married, but I’d have no wife, I would be married to a single life. – Charles Bukowski
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. – Rodney Dangerfield
Kapil : If anything happens to me during operation, You get married to the doctor. Wife: Why? Kapil : It’s the only way to take a good revenge.
Falling in love is a beautiful experience; Marriage is hitting the rock bottom reality.
Wife: A woman who marries a man for what he is then, tries to change him into what/how she wants him to be!
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. – Rodney Dangerfield
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