I was blinded by your beauty. I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
Dude. That wasn’t funny.
There is no such thing as stupid questions, just stupid people.
By the time you have read this, you have already read it.
OMG! The sky is blue!
Yes, you have the right to your opinion, and I have the right to think you are stupid.
I was last seen wearing: THIS
I look like that one guy from that movie.
I’m not as think as you dumb I am.
OMG! The rains wet.
DON’T READ THIS!
Surveys are showing that 3 out of every four people make up 75% of our population.
Judge me & I’ll prove you wrong, tell me what to do & i’ll tell you off, say I am not wroth it & watch where I end up, call me a b**ch & i’ll show you one, f**k me over & i’ll do it to you twice as bad, call me crazy but you really have no idea
What happens in this shirt, stays in this shirt.
Florida: the place where old people go to die.
Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.
I’m not perfect but parts of me are.
Work sucks but I need the bucks.
Go fast, turn left!
If it’s too loud, you’re too old.
Hey, I’m up here ^
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
I can only compensate so much for other people’s stupidity.
If plugging it in doesn’t help, then try turning it on.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be misquoted and then used against you.
Drive defensively, buy a tank!
Thank you for calling tech support, you’re ignorance is my job security.
Always remember… You’re unique just like everyone else.
Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ?
Do not disturb, I’m disturbed enough already.
I don’t have a license to kill, I have a learners permit.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
FAILURE is not an option, it comes all bundled up with the software.
FOR SALE: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I would put something CLEVER here… But you just wouldn’t get it!
Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that actually do.
Warning! This shirt has sharp edges.
Silence is golden, but DUCTAPE is shiny.
Try to not let your mind wander, it’s much too small to be out on it’s own.
It’s kind’a hard to show that I care, be e see a you s e I d o n ‘ t.
To my best recollection, I can’t remember.
7 out of 3 people are math illiterate.
I’m going off to go find myself. If I’m not back by the time I return, keep me here.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving just isn’t for you.
If I gave a cr*p, you would be the first person I’d give it to.
I know all the answers, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy.
Let’s hope there’s intelligent life in outer space. I’m so lonely here.
There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who don’t
I’m not perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome!
Give me chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Imagine your life without me… Miserable huh?
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful! hate me because…well…okay…HATE ME BECAUSE I’M BEAUTIFUL!
Don’t give me your attitude, I have my own.
Stop looking at my Brea$ts
This is your boyfriend’s T- shirt!
If you read this, you owe me $10
Watch the b**ch as she gets the bone.
Don’t play a girl who plays better
Sometimes I like to pretend I am British
I don’t get into fights
I was raised right
I talk about people behind their backs…its called manners
The best kind of friend is the one who lets you touch them inappropriately any time they want.
Ever wonder how people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
I’m having a really stupid idea that might just get us killed.
If it weren’t for physics and the law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
I laugh at completely inappropriate times.
The more people I meet….the better I like my dog.
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person…think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
Do I look like a grocery item to you…You keep checking me out.
Looking for a perfect gal??……Go buy a barbie.