T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings

EMERGENCY ALERT: If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed, ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY.

I love you when you’re naked.

I’m not changing a thing, except my belly ring.

If I could unmeet some people I would.

Bad things happen to good people because it’s funnier.

You don’t know what you don’t know until you know it.

My wife says I never listen to her. (Or something like that)

Wake me up when I am famous.

I am not anti social I am anti idiot.

Lawyers have feelings too. (Allegedly)

You are offended by things I say? Imagine the stuff I hold back…

Shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.

Cute but psycho.

I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Come to the math side, we have pi.

Life is a soup and I’m a fork.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Smart and witty beats fake and pretty.

Where is the food?

Irony: the opposite of wrinkly.

Nasty Woman
1. a tough, smart female who gets sh*t done.

If you need anything from me, reconsider.

I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.

I’d love to stay and chat but I’d be lying.

Jesus loves you.
(Everyone else thinks you suck)

Lazy is a very strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

This is what awesome looks like.

I make wine disappear. What’s your superpower?

If things get better with age then I’m approaching magnificent.

Be your own kind of beautiful.

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