T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
– Steven Wright

3

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

5

It’s not that you are weird…it’s just that everyone else is normal.

3

Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

1

Does your face hurt? Cause it’s killing me!

0

You spend your whole life thinking your on the right track, only to find out your on the wrong train

0

It is better to let everyone think you are stupid, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

0

There are two rules in life.
1. Never give out all of the information.

0

Aahhaa…got you staring at my tshirt!!

0

I was blinded by your beauty. I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
You’re funny…looking.
Dude. That wasn’t funny.
There is no such thing as stupid questions, just stupid people.
By the time you have read this, you have already read it.
OMG! The sky is blue!
Yes, you have the right to your opinion, and I have the right to think you are stupid.
I was last seen wearing: THIS
I look like that one guy from that movie.
I’m not as think as you dumb I am.
OMG! The rains wet.
DON’T READ THIS!
Surveys are showing that 3 out of every four people make up 75% of our population.

0

Judge me & I’ll prove you wrong, tell me what to do & i’ll tell you off, say I am not wroth it & watch where I end up, call me a b**ch & i’ll show you one, f**k me over & i’ll do it to you twice as bad, call me crazy but you really have no idea

0

What happens in this shirt, stays in this shirt.
Florida: the place where old people go to die.
Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.
I’m not perfect but parts of me are.
Work sucks but I need the bucks.
Go fast, turn left!
If it’s too loud, you’re too old.
Hey, I’m up here ^

0

I am a bomb technician, if you see me running, try and keep up!

0

Take my advice,I don’t use it anyway.

0

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
I can only compensate so much for other people’s stupidity.
If plugging it in doesn’t help, then try turning it on.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be misquoted and then used against you.
Drive defensively, buy a tank!
Thank you for calling tech support, you’re ignorance is my job security.
Always remember… You’re unique just like everyone else.
Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ?
Do not disturb, I’m disturbed enough already.
I don’t have a license to kill, I have a learners permit.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
FAILURE is not an option, it comes all bundled up with the software.
FOR SALE: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I would put something CLEVER here… But you just wouldn’t get it!
Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that actually do.
Warning! This shirt has sharp edges.
Silence is golden, but DUCTAPE is shiny.
Try to not let your mind wander, it’s much too small to be out on it’s own.
It’s kind’a hard to show that I care, be e see a you s e I d o n ‘ t.
To my best recollection, I can’t remember.
7 out of 3 people are math illiterate.
I’m going off to go find myself. If I’m not back by the time I return, keep me here.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving just isn’t for you.
If I gave a cr*p, you would be the first person I’d give it to.
I know all the answers, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy.
Let’s hope there’s intelligent life in outer space. I’m so lonely here.
There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who don’t

0

I’m a Virgin…but this is an old T- shirt

0

I’m not bossy… I just have better ideas.

0

I’m not perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome!
Give me chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Imagine your life without me… Miserable huh?

0

I’m not a bad girl…I’m a good girl with ATTITUDE !!
It’s better to loose a Lover then to love a Loser!
If Nothing lasts forever…
Can I be your Nothing?

0

SORRY OFFICER I THOUGHT YOU WANTED A RACE

0

Lets save time and just assume I know everything

0

Dont blame me, I was born Awesome!

1

Congratz, by reading this shirt you wasted 6 seconds of your life. I hope you’re happy.

0

Lets play carpenter first we’ll get hammered and then i’ll nail you…

0

Dont talk to me when im talking to myself

0

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful! hate me because…well…okay…HATE ME BECAUSE I’M BEAUTIFUL!
Don’t give me your attitude, I have my own.
Stop looking at my Brea$ts
This is your boyfriend’s T- shirt!
If you read this, you owe me $10
Watch the b**ch as she gets the bone.

0

3 out of 2 people have trouble with fractions.

0

The fact that no one understands you, doesnt make you an artist.

0

Hey,you. Yeah you. No.not you.. That other guy. You right there! Yes,you..Do you like tacos?!

0

Who are you and why are you reading my shirt?

0

Music speaks the words we cannot seem to say

0

“If I could be anything, I would be your tear drop…to be born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die on your lips”

0

If you expect the unexpected , then doesn’t that make the unexpected expected?

0

Can’t afford it, can’t touch it
You want it but you can’t have it
Who are you & why are you reading my shirt

0

If you truly love somthing set it free and if it doesnt return … Hunt it down a kill it !

0

Lets flip a coin…
heads I get tail…
Tails I get head…

0

You can’t spell STUPID without U

0

Don’t play a girl who plays better
Sometimes I like to pretend I am British
I don’t get into fights
I was raised right
I talk about people behind their backs…its called manners
The best kind of friend is the one who lets you touch them inappropriately any time they want.
Ever wonder how people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
I’m having a really stupid idea that might just get us killed.
If it weren’t for physics and the law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
I laugh at completely inappropriate times.

0

If Homework is work,,,WHEN DO I GET PAID???

0

If you wanna come second….
FOLLOW ME!!

0

I’m sorry, my fault. I forgot you were an idiot.

0

Life is like a box of chocolates, take a bite of all of them until you find the one you like…

0

“If you were a tear drop in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you”

0

99% of the women in this world are beautiful, the rest are in my college.

0

I was born cool but global warming made me hot. :- )

0

F BI
Female Body Inspector

0

I’m not 30 I’m 18 with 12 years of experience.

0

Don’t laugh at my pink shirt it’s your girlfriends

0

The more people I meet….the better I like my dog.
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person…think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
Do I look like a grocery item to you…You keep checking me out.
Looking for a perfect gal??……Go buy a barbie.

1

This T- Shirt turns green in front of Morons

0

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