Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).

You must be really clever to act so stupid all the time.

No sh*t Sherlock!

If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!

I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?

How much do you charge to haunt a house?

Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.

Person 1: Is that you?!
Person 2: Nah, I’m an alien from the planet obvious.

No you’re not ugly.. It’s just that you’re face is few centuries out of fashion.

Person 1: Can you help me do my homework?
Person 2: Sure, I can, why not.
Person 1: Well?.
Person 2: Just because I can, doesn’t mean I will.

You : I know I’m just an ugly guy..*hoping to be praised*
Me : awwh, don’t be sad, there are many more uglier people out there..
You : ^!%!$#@$@^@**@&^@%$@
Me : =)

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

That sounds so cool! It’s a shame I’m not interested…

You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”