Sarcastic Quotes | Sarcasm Sayings | Sarcastic Comments

Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

22

Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

4

I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.

18

People say that laughter is the best medicine…your face must be curing the world!

7

That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.

0

You are not useless because you can still be used as a bad example.

1

I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

6

You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.

2

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

1

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

0

If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.

0

Police pulls over a speeding car;
COP: I’ve been waiting for you all day.
DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could.

1

I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”

0

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

1

Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then it must be none of your business.

0

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

0

You go girl! And don’t come back.

0

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

1

If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.

0

Sure I’ll help you out…the same way you came in.

0

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