Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?
You are not useless because you can still be used as a bad example.
Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.
I don’t believe in plastic surgery, But in your case, Go ahead.
People say that laughter is the best medicine…your face must be curing the world!
I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.
You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.
That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.
Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.
Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.
If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty…
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
Police pulls over a speeding car; COP: I’ve been waiting for you all day. DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could.
You go girl! And don’t come back.
The trash will get picked up tomorrow, be ready.
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed. “Don’t make me hit you again!” “You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!” Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today? I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable. “I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”
If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.
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