I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.
Wise people think all they say, Fools say all they think
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
Forget the dog! Beware of kids!
A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.
Old age dosen’t make you forget. Its all the stupid stuff you try to remember
Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God. Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.
Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
I scored high on my drug test.
Unicorns are real. They’re just fat and gray and we call them rhinos.
Teacher : If your friend wants to borrow $5 and you gave him $10. How much will you get in return? Student : Nothing! Teacher : You don’t know Maths. Student : You don’t know my friend.
Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions.
Some Are Called Brave Because They Afraid to Run…
Me?? Stalk?? Nah.. I just observe.. At night… Behind a tree… Alone…
When the short people attack you, you won’t see them coming. I didn’t trip; I was testing gravity. It still works.
I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!
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