Was that an Earthquake of did I just rock your world?
Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re- elect them!
We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.
Available tonight… Limited time offer
I don’t need no Educashun.
And you wonder why I don’t listen to you! Sometimes I wonder why I even talk to you! Don’t worry, I’ll pretend I care! I’m not listening!
All men are idiots And I married their king.
Smile, you’re looking at me.
Caution: I have multiple- personality disorder and I’m out of my minds.
Jesus loves you. (Everyone else thinks you suck)
Tell your girlfriend I said Thanks!
I made a mistake once… I thought I was wrong.
This T- shirt turns green in the company of morons.
Fat people are harder to abduct.
Why get married? I already get it all with no strings attached.
Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.
Beat the 5 o’clock rush – Leave work at noon.
If You’re Not Cheating, You’re Not Trying Hard Enough
Don’t follow me, I run into walls.
Quality never goes out of style.
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