Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?
People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.
Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.
Act your age not your shoe size.
If I say something that offends you, let me know so I can do it again later.
No need for insults, your face says it all.
You are not useless because you can still be used as a bad example.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.
Scientists are trying to figure out how long human can live without a brain. You can tell them your age.
Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable. Like a coma?
If you’re talking behind my back then you’re in a perfect position to kiss my a**!
I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.
You’re so ugly that when you cry, the tears roll down the back of your head…just to avoid your face.
People say that laughter is the best medicine…your face must be curing the world!
I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.
When your mom dropped you off at the school, she got a ticket for littering.
What’s the point of putting on makeup, a monkey is gonna stay a monkey.
You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.
That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.
I never insult any people I only tell them what they are.
Where were you when God was giving out common sense?
You don’t have to disrespect and insult others simply to hold your own ground. If you do, that shows how shaky your own position is.
– Red Haircrowg
Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go.
I would love to slap you but that would be animal abuse.
My mom says pigs don’t eat biscuits… So I better take that one out of your hand.
I don’t even need a dictionary to find out what a moron is. I’ve got the perfect definition standing right in front of me.
Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.
You don’t have enough qualities to be insulted by me.
You are literally too stupid to insult!
You’re very beautiful, no doubt about that but I’ll still rate a monkey ahead of you.
Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
It’s not that I’m smarter than you, it’s just that you’re dumber than everyone else.
You’re so ugly, when you were born, the doctor said “Wheres the baby?”
You’re so ugly, when you were born, your parents sued the doctor.
You’re so ugly, when you were born, your parents asked for a refund.
You’re so ugly, when you were born, the doctor was the one screaming instead of your mother.
Why bother talking? You’ll end up embarrassing yourself in the end.
Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty…
Your age doesn’t lie. Neither does that face.
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
Can I borrow your brain for half an hour, I’m building an idiot.
My battery lasts longer than your relationships.
There are levels of ugliness which are acceptable… But looking at you…that is just illegal!!!!
If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.
Don’t sneeze! Your brain is so small, it might slip out
You’re so much smarter when you don’t speak!
The degree of your stupidity is enough to boil water.
The trash will get picked up tomorrow, be ready.
Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”
I’m surprised at you level of stupidity.
Did you forget your brain in your mother’s womb?
Cause I’m pretty sure you did.
Where did you come from, awwww did some one leave your cage open?
It’s not that you are weird…it’s just that everyone else is normal.
Go be stupid somewhere else.
– Squidward
Your lips are moving, but all I hear is “blah blah blah…”
I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
I heard you had a brain surgery… But the brain rejected you?
What would beauty be without ugliness?
See, you are important!
I don’t hate you… I just don’t appreciate your existence.
Are you in stupid mode or does this come naturally?
The only positive thing about you is your HIV status.
Whatever permission you thought you had to speak to me, I hereby remove.
If I hurt your feelings in any way I just want to know from the bottom of my heart that I don’t care.
Ok so I applied for a job at a mental hospital and they said I needed 24 hrs experience with a retard..so …uhh…um do you wanna hang out?
I’d love to have this battle of wits with you but I don’t like fighting an unarmed person.
Last time I checked I didn’t ask for your opinion.
Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
I’d insult you but apparently you need qualities for me to insult!
Please don’t interupt me when I’m ignoring you.
Don’t worry you’re not as dumb as you look.
I don’t insult people, I just compliment them negatively.
Some people have no shame in denying the truth and defending a lie!
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion…it’s just that yours is stupid.
Somewhere along the line, I must have given you the impression I cared. I apologize.
Your head is just there to keep your ears apart.
If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.
Rose are red
Violets are blue
I have five fingers,
And the middle one is for you.
You’re as useless as the “Ay” in “Okay”.
Wow I can tell that was the smartest thing you’ve ever said. And trust me that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!
I’d insult you right now… But I was raised NOT to make fun of the mentally challenged… You’re lucky!
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
He’s not stupid; he’s possessed by a retarded ghost.
Don’t you have a terrible empty feeling – in your skull?
Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want people to like you?
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
I would love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do as well as nature did.
You know most days when I look in a mirror I feel ugly, but when I look at you I feel lucky.
I may not be super smart but compared to you I am Albert Einstein.
I became so religious so that I could pray for you to burn in hell.
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
– Oscar Wilde
Lets play fetch a little differently! I’ll throw the stick and you don’t come back ;)
I’m sorry, my fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
Life is great …you should get one.
Intelligence is key and you are locked out.
Because of you, they put the word failure in the dictionary.
You should really have an “out of order” sign on your forehead so everyone knows how stupid you are.
Holy wow! it looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.
Is that your face or did your neck throw up?
Notice how AWESOME ends with ME, and UGLY starts with U.
Wow! You have a huge pimple in between your shoulders! Oh wait that’s your face.
Wow! I’m impressed how long you are able to live without a brain.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile I can see the Spanish flag.
I didn’t know the trash from your head could come out of your mouth.
Oh, look! The garbage truck is coming! You better hide!
The difference between us is that I have a reflection and you don’t. Yours ran away when she realized she looks exactly like you.
Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.
Go back to your mom and ask her to teach you some manners.
If stupidity was a profession then you’d be a billionaire.
If you look up the definition of moron in the dictionary there will be a picture of you.
It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
– Ashleigh Brilliant
Think before you speak, it’ll save you the humiliation.
If dignity was money, you could maybe buy a soda.
Does your face hurt? Cause it’s killing me!
“I want to thank you for your obviously deeply considered and articulate comments. With that said, I don’t give a particular damn”.
Your village just called. They’re missing an idiot.
Life is good, you should get one.
Your head is so big, you don’t have dreams you have movies.
You actually sounded smarter when you didn’t say anything.
You are the reason scientists decided that we descended from apes.
Please tell me about yourself, I enjoy horror stories.
Sorry what? I don’t understand idiot language.
I’ve always checked the Guinness book of records with the hope of seeing your name as the greatest fool of all time. Don’t worry pal you’ll soon be noticed.
It’s not that I hate you, it’s just that I wish I had never met you.
It’s people like you, that make people like me, look good…
Envy me, rate me, bottom line: You aren’t me
Gosh! If a single word that comes out of your mouth earns you 0.000001$, you would still get richer than bill gate in 2 hours.
Looks like somebody fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!!
You can’t control what other people say about you, but you can control how you respond.
When God was handing out brains, you thought he said “trains” and asked him for a slow one!
You: When I grow up I’m gonna go to the moon.
Me: I’m afraid you’re too late, NASA isn’t sending the monkeys anymore.
My door is always open for you so feel free to leave.
B*tch, please, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
It is not insult from another that causes you pain. It is the part of your mind that agrees with the insult. Agree only with the truth about you, and you are free.
– Alan Cohen
I see you playing stupid.! Looks like you’re winning.
Do you mind not talking I am trying to ignore you?
Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me?
You are an evolutionary defect.
I’m sorry, I don’t speak idiot.
Hating me won’t make you pretty.
For the love of God, do you at least remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense?
I don’t insult people. I just describe them.
Teacher: What tense is I am beautiful in?
Student: It’s surely the past tense.
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
Allowing you to survive childbirth was medical malpractice.
O’ you remind me of my Chinese friend …Ug Lee
I would insult your intelligence, but that would mean you had some to begin with.
Never make this mistake of thinking that you elevate yourself by humiliating people.
– Robert Greene
Yes, you do have a right to your opinion…And I have a right to mine. And my opinion is that your opinion is ridiculously stupid!!
No need to insult you anymore, your presence in this world has done it all.
It’s not that I’m insensitive, I just don’t care.
Oh, I’m sorry. Were you under the impression that I value your opinion?
If you don’t talk no one will realize how stupid you are.
Roses are red violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. But don’t worry I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
Calling you ugly would be an insult to the ugly people.
Your face is so ugly even Bob the Builder said “We can’t fix it!”.
When you die, please donate your brain to someone cos it was never used in your whole life.
Person: Go to hell!
Me: I must already be in Hell since you’re still standing here.
I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you!
You are proof that evolution can go backwards.
I asked God to punish me, next day I met you.
Are your parents siblings?
If being dumb was a crime, you’d be in jail in no time.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll be happy to do it for you.
People say you shouldn’t wear makeup cause you’re beautiful in your own way. That ain’t referring to you cause you need the whole CoverGirl collection.
Though two heads are better than one but not when one of the head is yours.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you…
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head!
There’s no cure for stupid.
Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent, like on the 30th of February.
I won’t insult your intelligence; its pretty obvious you don’t possess any.
I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.
You’re so ugly you have to sneak up on a glass of water just to see your reflection.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
They say arguing with an idiot makes two of them so, I’ll just leave you alone on this one.
You have a right to your opinions. I just don’t want to hear them.
I have never understood why your head is so big. I mean there is nothing in there.
Make someone happy, mind your own business.
You’re not as stupid as you sound, & you’re not as dumb as you look.
Don’t bother being smart, do what you do best : being stupid!
Go back to your planet. Earth is full.
After being around you, I have learned something new. I never knew that brain had an off switch!
Your mind is on vacation and your mouth is working overtime.
– Buddy Guy
Fools are temporary.
But
Stupids like you are forever.
If brains were gasoline you wouldn’t have enough to propel a flea’s motorcycle around a doughnut.
60,000 sperms, and you won?
You must have fallen from heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face.
Your family tree must be a cactus. Everyone in it is a prick.
You, sir, are an oxygen thief.
You know why the earth rotates? It’s to get away from your face.
Your common sense is so rare it should be in a museum.
If you weren’t who you are … I’d like you!
Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.
I don’t want to be alone… But with you I’d rather be…
To be honest, your face is uglier than my brother’s feet.
You look ugly when you cry, much more when you don’t.
How can I insult you, your existence has done it all.
Man, if YOU can get a girlfriend, there’s hope for the rest of us!
Girl- How do I look?
Boy- I would rather stay blind…and let the mirror suffer!!!!
Life is full of disappointments, One of them is YOU!
(Credits to me please)
Keep talking behind my back and that’s where you’ll always be.
There’s no such thing as a stupid idea, It’s just you!
You’re so ugly, that when people see you, they know what the meaning of “dark and handsome” means. When its dark, your handsome.
If I could feed one child each time you did something stupid, I’d stop world hunger.
You’re so fat, you don’t need the internet. You’re already world- wide!
You were born on the freeway, where accidents happen.
Cool story bro, wanna hear mine, its a fairytale, once upon a time nobody gave a sh*t about what you said.
The most effective comeback to an insult is silence.
Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours.
Drama is a Disease, Get well soon.
Your stupidity is so high I would like to kill myself and to do that I would have to jump from your ego to your IQ.
A friend of mine: Do you think I am funny?
Me: yeah, every time I look at you.
And I thought I had problems? Look at your face!
Can I borrow your face for Halloween?
You can talk? Quick, call the science community – we have a discovery!
You can’t fix stupid.
I hope you are hungry…you’re about to eat a heaping plate of shame.
Person 1 : Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?
Person 2 : No
Person 1: Oh good cause I never did.
Your silence has grammatical errors.
You’re so fake; you make barbie look real (:
You are the best fool I’ve ever met.
I didn’t insult you I described you.
Whatever is wrong with you, it’s not a small thing!
I’d slap you, but that’d be animal abuse.
Are you sure this is your territory?
Shhh, Can you hear how much nicer it sounds when you AREN’T talking??
Oh look?? I found your nose all up in. My damn business again!!!!
Don’t worry there are millions like you out there
Eat Your Make Up So You’ll Be Pretty On The Inside Too.
Girl 1 – Talk to the elbow you aren’t worth the attention.
Girl 2 – Okay it’s better looking than your face!
I saw a bug then I thought of you so I stepped on it.
Boy: Did you fall from heaven?
Girl: No why?
Boy: Cause you’re face is pretty messed up.
Boy: Your lucky you were born beautiful
Girl:……
Boy: As for me I was born a big fat liar
I was dropped on my head as a baby. But you, my friend, you were clearly flung against a wall!
I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.
I don’t know what you’re problem is. . . But I’m pretty sure it’s because you’re too dumb to realize you don’t know what your problem is.
Fake Nails. Fake Hair. Fake Smile. Are you sure, you weren’t made in China?=)
You can not help solve my problem. Because you are it.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, what happened to you?
Hey don’t talk aloud, you lower the IQ of the whole street.
Can you turn around and look at me??..awwwww!!! turn back again.
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Insulting you would be making mere understatements.
I see your point, but I still think you’re an idiot.
If you want to stay out of a zoo, then get a mask.
Oh were you talking to me? Sorry, I was to busy ignoring you.
People like you make me scared to have children.
If brains are considered money, you would be a charity case.
When I first met you I thought you were “special” now I know you are!
If you can’t ignore an insult, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved.
– J. Russell Lynes
The only reason Wiz Khalifa made the song black and yellow was because of your teeth.
Do your kids a favor – don’t have any.
– Robert Orben
Oh my gosh! Somebody call the zoo and tell them that there is a Gorilla on the loose!!
I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.
Just don’t say anything stupid. Sorry, that should be… Just don’t say anything, stupid.
I respect those, who hate me by showing my middle finger.
If you were twice as wise you are now, you’d probably still be stupid!
You’re so ugly it took a team of scientists to figure out if you’re a boy, girl or a fat monkey.
If beauty is a crime…. Then arrest me… And You !! You’re FREE !!
If you want sympathy from me look it up in the dictionary, it’s between sh*t and syphilis.
Please remind me again, what time do your senses return?
If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. If that’s true I have nothing to say.
It’s not that I don’t have time to discuss, but it’s just that I find you worthless for my worthwhile words.
Well, they do say opposites attract…so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
Hey do you want a mint?
– Nah I’m okay.
No seriously buddy, just take the mint and do us all a favor.
Person: Go to hell.
Me:I’m packing my bags, just promise me you won’t end up there.
You’re so ugly you make onions cry.
I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.
– William F. Buckley, Jr.
Before I met you, I didn’t believe in Charles Darwin.
I feel dumber just from listening to you.
I may be fat, but I can exercise, you can’t fix ugly!
You wouldn’t care what people thought about you, if you knew how little they did.
The greatest danger of your life is your own stupidity.
You have the perfect face… For radio!
It’s not you, it’s your face.
I see that you are still wearing that chewed raw, dog’s a** looking thing that you call a face, around like you’re proud of it.
B*tch at least I still remember planetary motion. The world revolves around the sun.
Being that ugly is not as easy.
Terribly sorry, I don’t speak stupidnese.
He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
Remove your facebook display pic, before it gets sold to “Ripley’s Believe it or not”.
Do you like black eyes? I’m really good at making them.
You must be a mask model.
Halloween already?
You know that hole in the middle of your face? Can you shove a sock in that?
Godzilla called. He wants his hair back.
Look, it’s not that I don’t like you.. It’s just.. Your voice is literally the most annoying thing on Earth.
Forget the ugly tree, you were hit by the ugly forest.
I’m sorry, I’m a little busy. Can I ignore you later?
Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?
An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.
– Lord Chesterfield
One look at you reminds me of how lucky I’m.
Yeah, she has a face like a saint- a saint Bernard.
Wow! Did your mom feed you a bottle of idiocy when you were a baby?
I can’t insult you. Why? Cause it’s rude to insult the mentally challenged.
Sure, I’d love to help you out…now, which way did you come in?
Dead people are to life like you are to funny!
I would slap or punch you , but that’s animal abuse.
Can you please fake my absence in my presence please!
I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.
I love to hear you talk- the white noise is very relaxing.
When you die you could leave your brain to medical science, I’ve heard they need a new doorstop.
Can you please wipe your mouth. You’re dribbling sh*t again!
You saying you’re pretty is like me saying I taught Gandhi about peace!
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
Sure, I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission.
If brains were taxed, you’d get a rebate.
You sir, are an idiot.
Damn b*tch replace your chapstick with a glue stick and shut the f*** up. – _- .
I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.
Insult: If beauty fades you have nothing to worry about.
Don’t feel sad, don’t feel blue…
Frankenstein was Ugly too.;)
If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.
If you have something to say, please raise your hand and put it over your mouth! Cos I’m not listening.
Never insult anyone by accident.
– Robert A. Heinlein
I used to think I was stupid… but the I met you.
No matter how many harmful drugs I take, you still don’t seem any smarter.
At the end of the day…you’re just a speck of dirt I wipe off the table.
Can you go and live in some place far away from here? Try Pluto. I hear it is nice there.
I have met a lot of hard boiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.
I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
Even rabbits insult a dead lion.
– Proverb
You’re so fat when you stand on the scales it reads my phone number.
I’d love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can’t count that high.
You say: FAIL!!!
I say: I didn’t ask for your life story.
Your mouth is bigger than your brain.
I’d love to stay and chat but I’d be lying.
A woman unaffected by insults has made her enemies absolutely powerless.
– Kimberly Jones
Insult: If you’re dating an idiot, you have found your perfect match.
They just ran out of brains by the time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead.
I like your approach, now lets see your departure.
He doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear” – but then again he doesn’t know the meaning of most words.
– Bobby Bowden
You know why God put you on earth. . . because he didn’t want you up there.
You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.
Please go bore someone else with your existence.
Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice.
I don’t know what your problem is but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
The voices in my head tell me you have serious issues.
Just because no- one understands you, that doesn’t make you an artist.
If I wanted to kill myself I’ll have to climb your ego and then jump to your IQ.
If I had a nickel for every smart thought you had, I’d be deeply in debt.
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Sorry! I can’t think of an insult stupid enough for you! I’ll get back to you on that.
Try rolling your eyes, maybe you could find a brain back there.
If I had a gun with two bullets and I was with Hitler, bin laden and you, I would shoot you twice.
Let’s play horse. I’ll be the front end. And you be yourself…
Are you that stupid or am I getting smarter?
I never believed Charles Darwin’s theory that we are descendants of apes. Not until I saw your Facebook picture.
You’re so fat you need a paint roller to put on lipstick.
You’re so fat you need a sock for each toe.
You entered an ugly contest but the judges stopped you and said “Sorry, no experts allowed”
When that ‘master’ beautician hit you with an ugly- stick he hit you real good.
Boy: What are you looking at?
Girl: Haven’t figured it out yet!
Boy: My face hurts. =(
Girl: Yeah it’s killing me too!!
Oh! I see. When they said brains, you thought they said trains, and you wanted a slow one.
I’ve heard of being hit with the ugly stick, but you must have been beaten senseless.
So you don’t like my clothes… That’s OK. At least I can change clothes, you’re stuck with that face for the rest of your miserable life.
You want me to go to hell?
I don’t think I am ready for a visit to your home yet.
Hey! somebody is arguing with me here that there are no more monkeys…send me your photo for him to see one!
Random snob: Don’t try to mess with me… I have a mouth and I’m not afraid to use it.
Me: No wonder you are fat.
Hmmm, your hair looks wrong. Then again, everything ON you looks wrong…
If you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?
Never insult an alligator until you’ve crossed the river.
– Cordell Hull
Let’s play hide and seek. You hide and I won’t seek.
If ugliness was measured in bricks, you would be the great wall of China.
You look at me, you judge me then you imitate me. I look at you and I laugh.
Your mama’s so fat that when she jumped in the air she got stuck.
Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby or are you just naturally stupid?
Nothing is more insulting to the critics than a smile and a don’t care attitude because it defeats their whole purpose to demean you.
What would intelligence be without stupidity, see you are important.
They’re not laughing with you, they’re laughing at you.
You might change your face with a surgery, but what about your brain?
If you were half as funny as you thought you were you’d be twice as funny as you actually are.
Finally, something you are good at. Being stupid.
You are such a good person… When you are asleep.
She’s so ugly she looks like the south end of a north bound horse.
My lack of attention seems to be your fault.
He is known as an idiot savant, minus the savant.
Wow! that’s your face? it looks like somebody jumped off the ugly plane and landed right in front of me!
Why don’t you go and drink a big glass of shut the f*** up?
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you?
You know, when you open your mouth and start to say something, I already know it would be something stupid and irritating.
If you were on fire with a bucket of water near you, I’d drink the water.
I hear you are kind to animals, so give that gorilla his face back.
I would tell you to go to hell but I don’t want to see you again.
It’s normal for an abnormal person to do abnormalities… Why am I expecting perfect from you?
You can be nice to someone & they will still forget you, but insult them and they will never forget it.
Stop talking to yourself, I’m not interested.
The construction of my rock building ran a stone short
Can you lend me your head??
If I left you would you cry for me?
Of course, I can’t control the tears of joy.
Don’t flatter yourself, honey. The only fan you have is on the ceiling.
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
How about a cup of shut up.
Everyday I see you face I am more and more convinced that man did come from monkey.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
– Ashleigh Brilliant
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
– Oscar Wilde
If you think that I am ignoring you then you are right. I am.
I’d say you’re smart but I don’t tell lies before breakfast.
A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.
– Louis Nizer
I don’t hate you because you’re ugly. You’re ugly because I hate you.
Friend: Hey it’s been a long time.
Me: I know and I’d love to keep it that way.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your face is making me cry,
So please spare the view.
You were pretty until your “30 Day” Photoshop trial expired.
You deserve someone like you.
Don’t feel special, I only keep your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
If I throw a stick will you leave?
As fa as distance is concerned it is easier to go over you than around.
When God said let there be light he asked you to move out of the way.
Ever looked in a mirror? Oh, wait. You broke them all.
God loves stupid people and he especially loves you.
You are physically, intellectually, psychologically, socially spiritually mentally dotish !!!.
No pets allowed in the Hotel! Why did your friend bring you?
You look prettier when your hair is covering your face or should I say less ugly.
If you’re gonna be two faced.. At least try to make one pretty.
– Marilyn Monroe
Whenever I see your face, I feel like I am having a bad dream.
You better shut up before I knock you into next year so I don’t have to deal with you this year.
Let’s play hide and seek…you hide and never come in front of me.
You are so ugly that when you were born, God left this planet.
I have nothing but respect for you – and not much of that.
– Groucho Marx
How’s that karma tasting? Not so good?
Ummm a three letter word that describes you… DUH!!
Where did you graduate again? The university of DUH??
Insult is a monstrous scorpion, and compliment is a likeable nightingale; one stings mercilessly, and the other sings sweetly.
– Mehmet Murat ildan
Trying to find what is ugliness? Then search no more, you’re a perfect definition of it.
God cries when he sees your face.
I would so much enjoy the ticking of the clock than you telling the most important story of your life.
Stop talking. You’re making me cry. Literally. What did you eat?
If I had a hundred dollars for everything stupid you say, I’d be rich. Like. Stupid rich.
Saw this on vest of a motorcycle rider on a calif. freeway
Could you drive any better
If that phone
Was up your a**!!!
The farmer called, he wants his cow back.
I thought the wizard promised you a brain.
You make me want to eat s*** every time I see you.
Ohh…you should be on discovery…!!
Yes, we all sneeze, and that’s hard to avoid, but maybe it’s the time you work on making it sound less like an elephant trumpeting in agony.
I heard you were supposed to get brain surgery… But you got rejected ’cause your brain was too small to operate on you.
You are as ugly as they get.
There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble.
– Sinclair Lewis
It’s not Halloween, honey, so change the costume.
Before scientists start finding other intelligent life forms on other planets, they should start with your form first.
Oh I’m sorry, were we supposed to dress stupid today?
The ugly police just called and said they have an warrant out for your arrest.
The science department called, they wanted to know if you’d donate your body to research. They said blue whales are a rare breed.
Have a nice plate if sh**. Oh, sorry, you smell like you had some already.
You remind me of Micheal Jackson’s nose.
Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone.
– Arab Proverb
Insult is a sin which is done by some people who do not know the meaning of feelings.
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.
Wow you should have your own TV show… “The ugly and the clueless”.
Where did you get your hair done?
… The pet store??
I took a pain pill… Why are you still here?
Please, I could wipe off 90% of your “beauty” with a wet Kleenex honey.
You grow on people but so does cancer.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If I had a brick I’d throw it at you.
Who do you think you’re? Stink bug.
Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
– Groucho Marx
My girlfriend is so ugly, two guys broke into her apartment. She yelled “Rape!” They yelled “NO!”
I may be fat…. But I can lose weight but you’re stuck with that face for the rest of your life!
All day I thought of you…I was at the zoo.
Your teeth are so dirty they even have their own theme song “Black and Yellow”.
You’re so ugly when your mom took you to the hospital the first doctor she met told her please I’m not a veterinary doctor.
Person one: You look nice today
Person two: Can’t say the same about you
Person three: Just do what he did and lie!
You really are 31 flavors of dumb aren’t you.
Your face reminds me of the sun. You hurt my eyes.
When someone insults you without any context on your life, they’re not insulting you, they’re insulting someone who hurt them who you remind them of.
– Alex Hormozi
You: Am I ugly?
Me: I wouldn’t say you are ugly but rather facially challenged.
You: Am I fat?
Me: No, you are just horizontal tall.
You: Am I short?
Me: No, you are just vertically inappropriate.
Roses are red, violets are blue, but everyone knows I’m hotter than you.
I love it when your facial expression clearly shows how much you are jealous of me.
A baby monkey asks his father thus; father, why are we so ugly?
The father says: don’t stress my son, you should see the one reading this text.
Boy, you must have fell outta the stupid tree and hit every branch comin’ down!
“LOL”…That’s what mirrors say when you leave.
I am glad God gave us you, otherwise what else would we be comparing ugliness to?
Your mom had a severe case of diarrhea when you were born.
Every time I see you..it reminds me of a song
“Just the way you are” and “2012″ cause “when I see your face…, it’s like the end of the world”.
My teacher asked me to define the word “idiot”… So I just said your name.
Gee you fell outta the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Awww!!! That is so cute… Do you really think I care?
I’m sorry l, but you must die young. For the good of the universe just die young.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
You Are The Proof That Aliens Are Experimenting With Humans.
And I thought Ogres Only Existed In Fairy Tales.
Forget A Home Security System, Your Face Is More Than Enough To Scare Any One Away.
I love your smile cos I love yellow.
If brains were money, you’d be broke.
You look like the failed first draft of a final fantasies character.
I Just Did Something Stupid Today…. I Met You !
You know that thing you do when you move your mouth and talk? Stop doing that, it’s annoying.
The best insult is still and will always be… “Oh”.
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.
Alright… Don’t be too happy if I gave you a second look…That’s just to wonder why on earth did I even look at you the FIRST time around…! Loser
You’re not ugly, you’re just not someone to look at.
I thought monkeys used to stay at the zoo until I saw you at the mall.
Oh my gosh, what is that thing on the front of your head. Oh wait, it’s your face. Sorry my bad.
You are so ugly you make gorilla jealous.
You’re the reason Santa says ho, ho, ho, on Christmas!
Want to tell that your attitude doesn’t fit on your toilet face.
Like me or hate me, either way I still hate you.
You’re so fat… When you take a shower, your feet don’t get wet.
Hi-my name is beauty. Who are you? The beast?
You are so ugly, when you look in the mirror your reflection throws up!
He has a personality that lights up a room … When he walks out!
There are levels of ugliness which are acceptable….but looking at you….that is illegal.
I understand why your girl friend is reluctant to kiss you.
High five!
(with a shoe on your face).
I can remove 99% of your “beauty” with a baby wipe.
Does this dress make me look fat? Hell no!! It’s the fat that makes you look fat!!!
Don’t worry your ugliness is not contagious.
Even your mom loves you only as a friend !!!
If you enter a competition of ugliest person alive, judges would probably say “Sorry no professionals”.
Oh I’m sorry I was too busy not caring.
Sorry I have to go I heard stupidity was contagious.
You look so good, when the light’s out.
You’re so ugly, a sniper wouldn’t take you out.
You’re so ugly that you wouldn’t even look at yourself either.
Girl: I like your smile
Boy: Thanks
Girl: It reminds me of a song
Boy: What song?
Girl: Black and Yellow!
You’re so dumb, you put the “Um” in the word dumb!
If they say you’re ugly, take it as a compliment. If they say you’re beautiful, take it as an insult.
Jesus loves you.
(Everyone else thinks you suck)
Some babies are dropped on their head but you were clearly thrown at the wall.
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
I’m not saying you’re ugly, I’m just saying you’re about 8 beers away from being my type.
Your not retarded… You’re just mentally slow.