Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily

The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright


It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Submitted by: Rose

Save a tree, eat a beaver…

Submitted by: tom

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Submitted by: kanurelly

You can’t be late until you show up.

Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.

Submitted by: ice cream

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev

87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Lyle Brewer

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