Facebook Status Quotes - Page 5

22

That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it.

12

There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.

Submitted by: Rajesh Joe
4

If a girl has 550 likes and 394 comments in her picture on Facebook, it can only mean one thing:
She’s naked.

Submitted by: Johnny
8

Everybody called me crazy when I said that Sharkboy was hot…

Submitted by: ForeverLonely
4

There will be an another sunrise if you can wait, always a more beautiful sunrise. A more beautiful day. Only if you can wait.

Submitted by: Jayadeep.V. Nair
111

If taking a shower is bad for the environment, I know I’m doing the world a big favor!;)

Submitted by: lol!!!ha
13

In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That’ll teach ‘em not to f*** with you.

11

I watch pom. I bet you read that wrong, didn’t you?

Submitted by: chirag
7

Stop saying lies about me behind my back and I’ll stop saying the truth about you. <3

Submitted by: lauren
12

Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

6

School Supplies: 1) Cellphone. 2) Charger 3) Headphones 4) iPod 5) Snacks 6) Homework that I copied 7) Money

Submitted by: Danny Waz
6

If you follow me on Facebook, you are a stalker.
That’s Twitter moron.

Submitted by: Dennis
6

I wish that I could put my status to what I am really thinking.

5

Oh really I didn’t know that; but I don’t care either.

Submitted by: Kelly
139

David loves animals. Especially the sweet and sour chicken.

Submitted by: David
4

If you don’t like me well honey you don’t have to.

Submitted by: nikki
7

Right now, there is more people on Facebook, then there were people on this planet 200 years ago.

Submitted by: Ryan
6

What starts with f and ends in uck?!. Firetruck.

Submitted by: luz (=
39

Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!

Submitted by: pimpin beast!
125

Go away don’t talk to me right now cause it’s my break time and I’m on FB mode…

Submitted by: liz
41

(Writes on FB) Gotta update my status (Clicks update)

Submitted by: koolkid
79

Stop writing love quotes on your facebook.. It will hurt you more than you know.

Submitted by: Idrees
11

If you have a problem “Face it don’t Facebook it”.

Submitted by: Lizzyalla
9

Facebook should have a love button.

Submitted by: Ryan Harrison :)
23

Important announcement: Please refrain from suggesting friends for me on FB. I’m not a clown. If I wanted someone on my friends list I’d have added ‘em myself. Thank You.

Submitted by: Bumble Bee
125

Is wondering if wondering is a good thing or do I wonder about something else hummmm, I wonder !!

Submitted by: Chloe
116

After 11 years in living in the same house I found out that the bathroom mirror opens up into a cabinet.
3 weeks after my dad changed the place of the door in my house. This morning I ran right into the wall that used to be a door that would be the 5th time???

Submitted by: Rose
146

Half- way through eating a horse and realized…I’m not as hungry as I thought…

Submitted by: lisa
88

STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”

Submitted by: MikeGnyC
7

Noticed a friend’s Facebook status said that he was suicidal and thinking about jumping off of a bridge. So I poked him. April Fools!

Submitted by: beautiful liar

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