Facebook Status Quotes - Page 5

17

Dear Facebook, Where’s the “DUH” button?

Submitted by: Lisa
7

James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.

7

“My memory is so bad” “How bad is it” “How bad is what?”

Submitted by: Brighton Zephania
64

Facebook is the red carpet for pretty girls who have no talent.

Submitted by: Satyr_Martyr
46

That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it.

33

I’m not random its just- WHOA IT’S A SQUIRREL!!!!!
I’m not random, you just can’t think as fast as me.
I’m not insensitive, I just don’t care.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life!?WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED!!!!

Submitted by: pringleprincess101
12

I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.

Submitted by: prince f.fisher
7

Don’t piss me off then tell me to calm down, that’s like stabbing someone and then asking why they’re bleeding.

Submitted by: Jade
13

If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.

18

Behind every successful Facebook update there’s ctrl+c & ctrl +v.

Submitted by: manek
9

Annoying moment when two people start a conversation on your Facebook status.

17

There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.

Submitted by: Rajesh Joe
6

Face your problems; don’t Facebook them.

Submitted by: Millie
9

If you’re going to spread lies and rumors about me on Facebook… Feel free to tag me.;)

Submitted by: Ryan Harrison
5

Why can’t there be a get away from me button or stop poking me stalker button on Facebook…

Submitted by: tabby
14

Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

55

The person who has ruined my life is one and only Mark Zuckerberg :D

Submitted by: Esines
19

Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.

Submitted by: dee
6

If you don’t like me well honey you don’t have to.

Submitted by: nikki
98

Am quitting face book to face my books.

Submitted by: Hussein Ahmed
56

Has implemented a healthy routine, affecting immediately . Very basic and it’s free – Nap Time!!

Submitted by: Stephane bolduc
26

Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.

Submitted by: Jon Braxton
7

If you follow me on Facebook, you are a stalker.
That’s Twitter moron.

Submitted by: Dennis
35

If you see me smiling in public, it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head

9

Facebook is the only book that we read everyday.

Submitted by: Papa Wayne..xD

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