Facebook Status Quotes - Page 5

53

He who went to facebook and left myspace is wise.

Submitted by: TonyTone
17

Dear Facebook, Where’s the “DUH” button?

Submitted by: Lisa
7

“My memory is so bad” “How bad is it” “How bad is what?”

Submitted by: Brighton Zephania
63

Facebook is the red carpet for pretty girls who have no talent.

Submitted by: Satyr_Martyr
32

I’m not random its just- WHOA IT’S A SQUIRREL!!!!!
I’m not random, you just can’t think as fast as me.
I’m not insensitive, I just don’t care.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life!?WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED!!!!

Submitted by: pringleprincess101
17

Behind every successful Facebook update there’s ctrl+c & ctrl +v.

Submitted by: manek
12

I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.

Submitted by: prince f.fisher
2

If a girl has 550 likes and 394 comments in her picture on Facebook, it can only mean one thing:
She’s naked.

Submitted by: Johnny
2

Facebook is the only book that we read everyday.

Submitted by: Papa Wayne..xD
5

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.

Submitted by: Hussein
5

If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.

3

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be “Nobody” so when I see stupid stuff people post, I can Like it. And it will say “Nobody likes this”.

5

Face your problems; don’t Facebook them.

Submitted by: Millie
12

Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!

Submitted by: ben
54

The person who has ruined my life is one and only Mark Zuckerberg :D

Submitted by: Esines
3

If you follow me on Facebook, you are a stalker.
That’s Twitter moron.

Submitted by: Dennis
8

Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

98

Am quitting face book to face my books.

Submitted by: Hussein Ahmed
19

Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.

Submitted by: dee
5

Why can’t there be a get away from me button or stop poking me stalker button on Facebook…

Submitted by: tabby
25

Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.

Submitted by: Jon Braxton
56

Has implemented a healthy routine, affecting immediately . Very basic and it’s free – Nap Time!!

Submitted by: Stephane bolduc
4

What starts with f and ends in uck?!. Firetruck.

Submitted by: luz (=
7

Everybody called me crazy when I said that Sharkboy was hot…

Submitted by: ForeverLonely
2

I accepted your friend request not a marriage proposal.
Boys, just think of me as the barbie doll you’ll never get to play with.;)
I’m not single, I’m just in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.:D

Submitted by: kelly

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