Facebook Status Quotes - Page 5
Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be “Nobody” so when I see stupid stuff people post, I can Like it. And it will say “Nobody likes this”.
I’m going on a date with my pillow!! Goodnight!!:)
Dear Facebook, Where’s the “DUH” button?
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.
Facebook is the red carpet for pretty girls who have no talent.
“My memory is so bad” “How bad is it” “How bad is what?”
I’m not random its just- WHOA IT’S A SQUIRREL!!!!!
I’m not random, you just can’t think as fast as me.
I’m not insensitive, I just don’t care.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life!?WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED!!!!
Facebook is the only book that we read everyday.
Behind every successful Facebook update there’s ctrl+c & ctrl +v.
I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.
Face your problems; don’t Facebook them.
If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.
I accepted your friend request not a marriage proposal.
Boys, just think of me as the barbie doll you’ll never get to play with.;)
I’m not single, I’m just in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.:D
The person who has ruined my life is one and only Mark Zuckerberg :D
Why can’t there be a get away from me button or stop poking me stalker button on Facebook…
That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it.
Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.
Am quitting face book to face my books.
Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.
Has implemented a healthy routine, affecting immediately . Very basic and it’s free – Nap Time!!
Everybody called me crazy when I said that Sharkboy was hot…
If a girl has 550 likes and 394 comments in her picture on Facebook, it can only mean one thing:
There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.
If you follow me on Facebook, you are a stalker.
That’s Twitter moron.