Facebook Status Quotes - Page 5

17

Dear Facebook, Where’s the “DUH” button?

Submitted by: Lisa
5

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.

Submitted by: Hussein
7

I’m going on a date with my pillow!! Goodnight!!:)

Submitted by: Rache
7

“My memory is so bad” “How bad is it” “How bad is what?”

Submitted by: Brighton Zephania
64

Facebook is the red carpet for pretty girls who have no talent.

Submitted by: Satyr_Martyr
32

I’m not random its just- WHOA IT’S A SQUIRREL!!!!!
I’m not random, you just can’t think as fast as me.
I’m not insensitive, I just don’t care.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life!?WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED!!!!

Submitted by: pringleprincess101
6

Annoying moment when two people start a conversation on your Facebook status.

17

Behind every successful Facebook update there’s ctrl+c & ctrl +v.

Submitted by: manek
5

Don’t piss me off then tell me to calm down, that’s like stabbing someone and then asking why they’re bleeding.

Submitted by: Jade
12

I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.

Submitted by: prince f.fisher
2

I accepted your friend request not a marriage proposal.
Boys, just think of me as the barbie doll you’ll never get to play with.;)
I’m not single, I’m just in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.:D

Submitted by: kelly
25

That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it.

9

If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.

6

Face your problems; don’t Facebook them.

Submitted by: Millie
5

Why can’t there be a get away from me button or stop poking me stalker button on Facebook…

Submitted by: tabby
13

There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.

Submitted by: Rajesh Joe
54

The person who has ruined my life is one and only Mark Zuckerberg :D

Submitted by: Esines
19

Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.

Submitted by: dee
25

Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.

Submitted by: Jon Braxton
98

Am quitting face book to face my books.

Submitted by: Hussein Ahmed
56

Has implemented a healthy routine, affecting immediately . Very basic and it’s free – Nap Time!!

Submitted by: Stephane bolduc
7

I wish that I could put my status to what I am really thinking.

5

If a girl has 550 likes and 394 comments in her picture on Facebook, it can only mean one thing:
She’s naked.

Submitted by: Johnny
6

Facebook is the only book that we read everyday.

Submitted by: Papa Wayne..xD
8

Everybody called me crazy when I said that Sharkboy was hot…

Submitted by: ForeverLonely

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