Facebook Status Quotes - Page 5
That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it.
There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.
If a girl has 550 likes and 394 comments in her picture on Facebook, it can only mean one thing:
Everybody called me crazy when I said that Sharkboy was hot…
There will be an another sunrise if you can wait, always a more beautiful sunrise. A more beautiful day. Only if you can wait.
If taking a shower is bad for the environment, I know I’m doing the world a big favor!;)
In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That’ll teach ‘em not to f*** with you.
I watch pom. I bet you read that wrong, didn’t you?
Stop saying lies about me behind my back and I’ll stop saying the truth about you. <3
Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.
School Supplies: 1) Cellphone. 2) Charger 3) Headphones 4) iPod 5) Snacks 6) Homework that I copied 7) Money
If you follow me on Facebook, you are a stalker.
That’s Twitter moron.
I wish that I could put my status to what I am really thinking.
Oh really I didn’t know that; but I don’t care either.
David loves animals. Especially the sweet and sour chicken.
If you don’t like me well honey you don’t have to.
Right now, there is more people on Facebook, then there were people on this planet 200 years ago.
What starts with f and ends in uck?!. Firetruck.
Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!
Go away don’t talk to me right now cause it’s my break time and I’m on FB mode…
(Writes on FB) Gotta update my status (Clicks update)
Stop writing love quotes on your facebook.. It will hurt you more than you know.
If you have a problem “Face it don’t Facebook it”.
Facebook should have a love button.
Important announcement: Please refrain from suggesting friends for me on FB. I’m not a clown. If I wanted someone on my friends list I’d have added ‘em myself. Thank You.
Is wondering if wondering is a good thing or do I wonder about something else hummmm, I wonder !!
After 11 years in living in the same house I found out that the bathroom mirror opens up into a cabinet.
3 weeks after my dad changed the place of the door in my house. This morning I ran right into the wall that used to be a door that would be the 5th time???
Half- way through eating a horse and realized…I’m not as hungry as I thought…
STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”
Noticed a friend’s Facebook status said that he was suicidal and thinking about jumping off of a bridge. So I poked him. April Fools!