Facebook Status Quotes - Page 9

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Facebook should have a love button.

Submitted by: Ryan Harrison :)

So I tried this interesting new recipe; beer can chicken. You actually cook the whole chicken with a can of beer inside. The recipe only calls for one beer. I bought a six pack and drank the first five before beginning to prepare the meal. Strange but I must have missed the line in the recipe that said to “Open” the can before inserting into the chicken. When a can of beer is heated to 375 degrees, it reacts by “Self opening” what a mess to clean up.

Submitted by: Don Keen

Facebook should have a ‘dislike’ button…I’d be going down my crushes/girlfriends page saying “dislike, dislike, dislike”.

Submitted by: Jennifer

I said to my husband, “I don’t hear many men boo- hoo’ing about gaining weight” & he said, “We just go buy bigger pants.”

Submitted by: Claudia

I am really easy to get on with, once you learn to worship me…

Submitted by: samina r

People who respond to their own FB status…frankly annoy me.

Submitted by: EB

I am currently restructuring my multinational Facebook friends list. I have decided to be within a manageable level of friends for control purposes. I am stream- lining my own time online so I can do other things with more meaning. This means, I will only retain responsive, active friends. This is my way of cost cutting my energy from reading non sense updates, humorless comments and unnecessary feedback. So until I get round to unfriending you “You know who you are”, either from self delete or from myself having to use the the bye bye button on you, this is only so my time is my own again.
P.S. If you are reading this then hello Facebook friend.

Submitted by: john

Teacher: WHERES YOUR HOMEWORK?
Student: Facebook distracted me from doing it
Teacher: Ohh why didn’t you say so!?!

Submitted by: Stupidgirl

Not to worry, I have been subdued and carted off for observation!

Submitted by: jerseygirl

Facebook status is inversely proportional to social status.

Submitted by: clive Ntuli

Oh really I didn’t know that; but I don’t care either.

Submitted by: Kelly

Smile for me … Go ahead … Keep on smiling … Hmmm hmm you’re not too far from the stupidity line !!!!

Submitted by: Kittyboul

Noticed a friend’s Facebook status said that he was suicidal and thinking about jumping off of a bridge. So I poked him. April Fools!

Submitted by: beautiful liar

Ntsakzin and 49 other friends have removed you from their friend list.

Submitted by: Ntsakzin

I only added you to fill up your news feed, in that way I may get a “Like” from you.

Submitted by: Monjihar

Jake is hoping that if he stays in Facebook land long enough, the cleaning fairies will come….?

Submitted by: amal

Facebook should have a “Please stop writing stupid encouraging messages” button.

Submitted by: natti

Wouldn’t be much better if Facebook had “please reply to your inbox messages, or your Facebook account will be terminated”.

Submitted by: Arnold1968

There will be an another sunrise if you can wait, always a more beautiful sunrise. A more beautiful day. Only if you can wait.

Submitted by: Jayadeep.V. Nair

Dear Facebook, you should have a “I disagree” button & a dislike button.

Submitted by: shaq p.

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