Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 11

Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?

Submitted by: witt

You almost made me cry but then you left.

Submitted by: Cool kid 101

Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.

Submitted by: Ishamael

A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.

Submitted by: Natalis

Find your patience before I lose mine.

Submitted by: OOPSI

You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why

Submitted by: SR

Oooohhh…soooo must be mistaking me for someone who cares…

Submitted by: limadreso

Other Person: Sarcasm is a Dying Art.
Me (Looks person up and down): Not all of us can be Monet. You’re the perfect example!
Parent: Are you taking a tone with me?
Me: No, that’s your imagination
Other Person: Aren’t you sarcastic?
Me: Me? Never! You can leave now.
Me: You act like such a girl
Other Person: I AM a girl.
Me: Right. So, uh…really?

Submitted by: Tieszen

If you don’t have the money for air ticket borrow your neighbor’s carpet next time…

Submitted by: farid khan

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

Submitted by: Natimar Diaz

You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!

Submitted by: Biteme

Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”

Submitted by: Kurisutii

You sound good every time you talk, and much better with your mouth closed.

Submitted by: yam

You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.

Submitted by: iyad

WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

Submitted by: jo-c

>Attempting to give a damn…
>Unable to give a damn…
>Process failed!
[Damn not given]

Submitted by: jo-c

Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.

Submitted by: vera lemon

My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.

Submitted by: vera lemon

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.

Submitted by: Grouchier Marx

One second…oh okay found it… Here is my cellphone, call someone who cares…

Submitted by: ThisOnesFunny

So I Burnt My Hand The Other Day.
Then Someone Asks Me:
You – “Did That Hurt??”
Me – “No! I Just Yelled Out In Pain To Annoy Everyone!”

Submitted by: KarinInPain

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

Submitted by: Idann

Person: Yeah that’s so funny.
You: Yeah that’s why everyone is laughing.

Submitted by: Rachhh.

Psychologist can’t fix stupid, apparently it’s not a disorder that is recognized.

Submitted by: Naomi

There’s a hole in your head, would you like me to plug it so the rest of your brain doesn’t fall out?

Submitted by: Naomi

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