Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 11
Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
You almost made me cry but then you left.
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.
A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.
Find your patience before I lose mine.
You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why
Oooohhh…soooo sorry..you must be mistaking me for someone who cares…
Other Person: Sarcasm is a Dying Art.
Me (Looks person up and down): Not all of us can be Monet. You’re the perfect example!
Parent: Are you taking a tone with me?
Me: No, that’s your imagination
Other Person: Aren’t you sarcastic?
Me: Me? Never! You can leave now.
Me: You act like such a girl
Other Person: I AM a girl.
Me: Right. So, uh…really?
If you don’t have the money for air ticket borrow your neighbor’s carpet next time…
When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.
You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!
Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”
You sound good every time you talk, and much better with your mouth closed.
You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.
WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
>Attempting to give a damn…
>Unable to give a damn…
[Damn not given]
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.
Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
One second…oh okay found it… Here is my cellphone, call someone who cares…
So I Burnt My Hand The Other Day.
Then Someone Asks Me:
You – “Did That Hurt??”
Me – “No! I Just Yelled Out In Pain To Annoy Everyone!”
If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
Person: Yeah that’s so funny.
You: Yeah that’s why everyone is laughing.
Psychologist can’t fix stupid, apparently it’s not a disorder that is recognized.
There’s a hole in your head, would you like me to plug it so the rest of your brain doesn’t fall out?