Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 14
You have one foot in your mouth already. You should probably try for a second.
DAD… What do you want to be when you grow up?
KID… An adult.
Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.
Someone said that you didn’t have half a brain, but I defended you, I insisted that you did!
Person 1: Only few people can practice two arts simultaneously.
Person 2: That is why I practice three. :)
You – “Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Me – “I’m sorry there’s a correct side to be waking up on?”
It takes patience to listen, however it takes absolute skill to pretend you’re listening.
Excuse me love, would you like a skirt to go with that belt?!
You’re in shape, bearing in mind that ’round’ is a shape…
Instant idiot, just add alcohol!
You’d make the perfect blueprints to build an idiot!
I am not bad. I am just dangerously awful.
Do I know Sarcasm? Why yes he’s my best friend…
It’s okay, my sarcasm fixes your stupidity.
Tell me about your problems again. ‘Cause I care SO much about your problems.
I love you too much to let you be in peace.
Person 1: Where are you going?
Person 2: Oh, I’m sorry, I thought stupidity was contagious.
Person 1: You’re right. I probably should go before I get it from you.
How much do you charge to haunt a house?
Some one comes to your house.
Them: Do you have a bathroom?
You: No, we just go in the back yard!
My dad: “Is the only thing you can do is be an a$$?”
My reply: “No, I come with sarcasm 3. 0.”
Person: Go to hell!
Me: I must already be in Hell since you’re still standing here.
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).
Wow, it was nice meeting you!
And if I ever see you again, it’ll be too soon.