Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

9 more hours and I can start behaving normally again.

Submitted by: Patience

Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.

Submitted by: joybananas

Have you heard about the discount for deodorant from Nivea?

Submitted by: Ema

So I Burnt My Hand The Other Day.
Then Someone Asks Me:
You – “Did That Hurt??”
Me – “No! I Just Yelled Out In Pain To Annoy Everyone!”

Submitted by: KarinInPain

Excuse me, and pardon my interruption, but would you mind considering helping me to find out what makes you so repulsive!

Submitted by: 6

Sarcasm is my mother tongue.

Submitted by: manggin misao

You: May I see the salt please
Me: See it

Submitted by: Tiffany

I just got off the phone with Satan…he told me that he has a special seat in hell with your name on it.

Submitted by: Chlojho

Abusive Mom: Do you hate me?
Girl: No, I just wish you would get your next period in a shark tank
Abusive Dad: Do you hate me?
Girl: No, it’s just that if you were on fire I’d roast marshmallows.

Submitted by: Ryann

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Well, when life gives me lemons, I sit in front of a McDonald’s and throw them at pedestrians.

Submitted by: ?LOL?

Guy: Hey don’t worry I can play dumb
Woman: Play dumb? You could manage the team!

Submitted by: Nigel Stone

Oh yea you look so pretty I can’t take it.

Submitted by: casin

If you had to choose a name for my dog! It would for sure be yours! For loyalty purposes.:)

Submitted by: Krupal

Would you care to join me?
Why, are you coming apart?

Submitted by: isambard kingdom brownowl

I wasn’t trying to insult you!! I’m just being sarcastic.

Submitted by: Lupita

Person 1: Have you heard the news?
Person 2: No, but I will if you tell me.

Submitted by: pinchME

You might appear to be hard on people, but I know that deep inside there beats a heart of solid concrete.

Submitted by: isambard kingdom brownowl

Person: Yeah that’s so funny.
You: Yeah that’s why everyone is laughing.

Submitted by: Rachhh.

Me: Hey guess what I just found out!
Black guy: What?
Me: I know a black guy!
Black guy: Me too!

Submitted by: d

You have one foot in your mouth already. You should probably try for a second.

Submitted by: hannahbanana

Sarcasm is anger’s evil cousin.
– Anger Management

Submitted by: Lily :)

Away is where you should go.

Submitted by: Luci

Oooohhh…soooo must be mistaking me for someone who cares…

Submitted by: limadreso

So, this is where our diligence has led?

Submitted by: therandomone

Since you’re so great, I might as well ask for advice.

Submitted by: Camilo Iribarren

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