Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 4
Aerodynamically the Bumble B. Shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumble B. Doesn’t know it so it just keeps on flying anyway.
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And some we want to leave footprints on their face.
87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Whoever said the pen was mightier than the sword has obviously never met an automatic weapon.
By General Arthur MacDouglas
Your ex asking if you can still be friends after a break- up is like a kidnapper telling you to keep in touch.
He has a face like a Saint – A Saint Bernard.
If I host a party with style, I’m I really hostile?
If two ants elope, are they antelopes?
If I keep standing outside, I’m I outstanding?
If I did not take a seat for a whole night, I’m I a one- night- stand?
An important rule of procrastination: do it today but remember that today will be today again tomorrow.
So who cares if I have imaginary friends I like them better than you.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- W. C. Fields
“saying you are right when you’re wrong only gives you the right to be wrong”
Why do psychics ask your name?
The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.
If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.
Understanding the single-line quote is like comprehending the bulky book with its title only and correctly.
- Anuj Somany
Quickest way to get on your feet… miss a car payment.
Optimism has no inhibitions based on past experience.
Me: Over 90% of the stuff on Wikipedia is fake.
Person: Really? Were did you hear that?
Me: I read it on Wikipedia.
When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”
My imaginary friend thinks YOU have problems…
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.
I lost 20 pounds but I’m sure I’ll find them at McDonald’s.
If I can be of any assistance don’t think twice about asking, actually don’t even think once about it.
Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.