Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 4
Whoever said the pen was mightier than the sword has obviously never met an automatic weapon.
By General Arthur MacDouglas
What exactly does pedantic mean?
87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
I really need to stop procrastinating, I’ll start next week.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
- W. C. Fields
Common sense is not so common.
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Steven Wright
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.
It isn’t homework unless it’s due tomorrow.
I may never get out of this world alive but I’ll die trying.
Of course, it’s very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs.
- Joey Adams
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein
It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S Truman
Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.
Why do psychics ask your name?
Understanding the single-line quote is like comprehending the bulky book with its title only and correctly.
- Anuj Somany
Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.
- Oliver Goldsmith