Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 4

38

Aerodynamically the Bumble B. Shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumble B. Doesn’t know it so it just keeps on flying anyway.

Submitted by: bob
8

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And some we want to leave footprints on their face.

Submitted by: Amber
24

87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Lyle Brewer
21

Whoever said the pen was mightier than the sword has obviously never met an automatic weapon.
By General Arthur MacDouglas

Submitted by: Guest1
5

Your ex asking if you can still be friends after a break- up is like a kidnapper telling you to keep in touch.

Submitted by: nisha
7

He has a face like a Saint – A Saint Bernard.

4

If I host a party with style, I’m I really hostile?
If two ants elope, are they antelopes?
If I keep standing outside, I’m I outstanding?
If I did not take a seat for a whole night, I’m I a one- night- stand?

Submitted by: Akerele Oluranti Pourl
4

An important rule of procrastination: do it today but remember that today will be today again tomorrow.

Submitted by: Phil Sanchez
7

So who cares if I have imaginary friends I like them better than you.

Submitted by: M.M.G
8

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- W. C. Fields

44

“saying you are right when you’re wrong only gives you the right to be wrong”

Submitted by: maleena
12

Why do psychics ask your name?

Submitted by: Juddy
22

The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.

Submitted by: Jordan
8

If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.

Submitted by: Dyoung shall grow
6

Understanding the single-line quote is like comprehending the bulky book with its title only and correctly.
- Anuj Somany

Submitted by: Anuj Somany
6

Quickest way to get on your feet… miss a car payment.

Submitted by: Darell Hill
9

Optimism has no inhibitions based on past experience.

Submitted by: D
14

Me: Over 90% of the stuff on Wikipedia is fake.
Person: Really? Were did you hear that?
Me: I read it on Wikipedia.

Submitted by: H.E.T
83

When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”

Submitted by: Sin
11

My imaginary friend thinks YOU have problems…

Submitted by: Torii :)
54

If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

Submitted by: Shorty
3

Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.

Submitted by: tina trotter
6

I lost 20 pounds but I’m sure I’ll find them at McDonald’s.

Submitted by: nam
7

If I can be of any assistance don’t think twice about asking, actually don’t even think once about it.

Submitted by: KJ
48

Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.

Submitted by: ice cream

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