I don’t have a drinking problem… The glass lifts up just fine thank you.
I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person, and that person drinks a lot.
You know you’re drunk when you lose arguments with yourself.
A drunken mind, speaks a sober heart.
When Wine Goes in Wisdom Comes Out.
You know you’re wasted when you’re looking in the mirror, and can’t figure out what the heck you’re looking at.
Love you lots like vodka shots but not as much as tequila.
You know you’re drunk when you take a big shot with the lid still on.
You must be drunk cos I can see 3 of you.
I’m gonna fight you with one hand. But if you spill my beer, I’m using both.
So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts. – Alexandre Dumas
I do not get drunk, I get awesome.
The only bad thing about drinking and driving is the trees defend themselves really well.
You look like I could use a drink!
I make wine disappear. What’s your superpower?
I say when I drink what I think when I’m sober
Drink and think but don’t think and drink
It’s a night to remember, if you can’t remember it…
Dear Alcohol – You’ve always been there for me, you wipe my memory when I’m sad, you make that girl down the hall look rad, you landed me in jail twice, but were there when I got bailed out ready on ice, you are taking away the worthless years of my life, killing my liver and helping me ignore my wife. Without you life is an endless road, a life better with sober people is such a load, we both know, in the end, we will be together. So pour me a shot, kick it with beer, lets have another amazing night, it’s only us here.
Drink like a fish. Smoke like a chimney.. Tomorrow is another day..
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