Computer Quotes, Sayings

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
– Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.

Hard Drive: The part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
Dave Barry

I had a life once… Now I have a computer and a modem.


Why are so many viruses aimed at windows ? It crashes just fine on its own thank you!

When all else fails, read the manual.

DOS never says : EXCELLENT command or filename.

The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.
– Edsger W. Dijkstra

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
– Jeff Pesis

First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII – and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we’ve realized it’s a brochure.
Douglas Adams

To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer.


Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Keyboard missing – press F3 to continue.

Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.

Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

A computer is like the union, it never works unless you spend money on it.

The computer is a product of the human mind. The computer does not perform without the control of the human mind.
Dr T.P.Chia

Submitted by: Ivy Lee on December 2, 2014

That frustrating moment when you can’t remember your password.

“Username or Password incorrect.” TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A B*TCH.

Unix never says ‘please’.
– Rob Pike

Human brain is a computer…the difference is that we don’t have any backup or restore.

Submitted by: gagan on October 30, 2008

Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.

Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.

I was asked to have a password of 8 characters, so I chose mine as “Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs”.

Submitted by: Chloe on September 6, 2011

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…

In a world without borders, who needs Windows and Gates ?

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