Computer Quotes, Sayings

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
– Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.

Hard Drive: The part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
Dave Barry

I had a life once… Now I have a computer and a modem.


Why are so many viruses aimed at windows ? It crashes just fine on its own thank you!

When all else fails, read the manual.

DOS never says : EXCELLENT command or filename.

The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.
– Edsger W. Dijkstra

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
– Jeff Pesis

First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII – and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we’ve realized it’s a brochure.
Douglas Adams

To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer.


Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Keyboard missing – press F3 to continue.

Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.

Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

A computer is like the union, it never works unless you spend money on it.

The computer is a product of the human mind. The computer does not perform without the control of the human mind.
Dr T.P.Chia

Submitted by: Ivy Lee on December 2, 2014

That frustrating moment when you can’t remember your password.

“Username or Password incorrect.” TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A B*TCH.

Unix never says ‘please’.
– Rob Pike

Human brain is a computer…the difference is that we don’t have any backup or restore.

Submitted by: gagan on October 30, 2008

Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.

Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…

In a world without borders, who needs Windows and Gates ?

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
– Mitch Ratcliffe

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