Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.

Submitted by: Anthony on June 19, 2012

Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: Dasha on June 10, 2012

The older you get the bolder you get.

Submitted by: sufyanj on June 4, 2012

Oohh!!!! Your birthday present, haha!!!! Cute story.

Submitted by: Anna Gooman on June 3, 2012

I was going to give you a birthday present but every time I touched the box, it would snarl at me.

Submitted by: Anna Goodman on June 3, 2012
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I was going to give you a birthday present, but it wouldn’t stop ticking.

Submitted by: Anna Goodman on June 3, 2012

Happy birthday!! May you live long enough to sh*t yourself!

Submitted by: Tony on May 28, 2012

You sure don’t look your age, you look way older! Happy birthday oldie!

Submitted by: Minty on May 22, 2012

I don’t know your name, but your birthday cake was delicious.

Submitted by: Jordan on April 27, 2012

You are not over the hill. You are on top of it and the view is magnificent.

Submitted by: Nina Schmiege on March 27, 2012

“Happy Birthday” is normally what people tell you every year, but it’s more like “Congrats! You’re officially one year closer to being dead! Good for you!”

Submitted by: yoyoma on March 17, 2012
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Every year someone asks me “What are you doing for your birthday?” and every year I say “Celebrating, idiot!”

Submitted by: jimmyyyy on March 17, 2012

Happy 29th Birthday! (again)

Submitted by: WisdomWordz on March 11, 2012

Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.

Submitted by: b :) on March 2, 2012

As you slide down the bannister of life… May the splinters never point the wrong way.

Submitted by: Greg on February 17, 2012

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