Old age is when you reverse your car from your driveway into your neighbor’s swimming pool across the road and believe it was the car’s fault and not yours.
Celebrating your birthday is like being happy that you are closer to your grave.
Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Mwah!
Oh No..say it isn’t so! Not the BIG 5- 0 !!
The older you get the bolder you get.
Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit…but check it for wrinkles first!
Classy, Sassy, Nifty, Fifty!
Over the hill. Never, just on top enjoying the view.
65 and still alive.
Fifty is not old!!!!! For a tree!!
I’m not gonna make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are. Lol.
40 is when your body gives your brain a list of things it’s not going to do anymore.
It’s never too late to be what you want to be..unless you want to be younger, then you’re screwed.
I can’t believe you’re 50. I mean, I can’t believe you’re only 50. I thought you were way older than that.
May you live forever and the last voice you hear be mine.
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out”. – Jerry Seinfeld
Happy birthday!! May you live long enough to sh*t yourself!
They say the older you get the more respect you get.So I just want you to know I have all the respect in the world for you!
Once you hit forty you start adding letters “I’m 39A this year”.
“Happy Birthday” is normally what people tell you every year, but it’s more like “Congrats! You’re officially one year closer to being dead! Good for you!”
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