Funny Marriage Quotes & Sayings | Married Life Comedy - Page 4

Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?”
The woman said “NO!”
Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted.
“THE END” (…true story)

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Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?

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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards.
– Benjamin Franklin

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I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.

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Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
– Elbert Hubbard

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When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Sacha Guitry

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A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx

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You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.

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When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

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Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park.
BUT the problem is:
.
..

that the park is Jurassic!

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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

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Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.

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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
– Henny Youngman

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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– Henry Louis Mencken

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A husband’s last words should always be “OK, buy it”.

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Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.

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I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
– Patrick Murray

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I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
– Max Kauffmann

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