Once upon, there was this man who asked a woman “Will you marry me?” The woman said “NO!” Then the man lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and did whenever he wanted. “THE END” (…true story)
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half- shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. – Sacha Guitry
You have two options in a marriage. You can either be happy or you can be right.
When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.
Here’s a toast to our wives and girlfriends … May they never meet!! ? ?
A husband’s last words should always be “OK, buy it”.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Think your wife doesn’t listen to a word you say? Try talking in your sleep!
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Marriage is the longest COLD WAR ever fought.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too. – Henry Louis Mencken
Married life is so easy. It’s just like a walk in the park. BUT the problem is: . .. … that the park is Jurassic!
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. – Patrick Murray
Marriage is worse than prison. There is no parole for good behavior.
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. – Max Kauffmann
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. – Robert Frost
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