Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

The two faces of a coin decides a woman’s mind. Head, they go for money. Tail, they go for money…

Submitted by: Leleesh on September 28, 2009

Women are cute…until you marry them!!

Submitted by: Mukena on April 24, 2012

A wise man once said “I don’t know, ask a girl.”

Submitted by: tiara123 on August 27, 2012

Q: What’s the difference between the abominable snowman & an intelligent woman?
A: There have been a few reported sightings of the snowman.

Submitted by: calvin k on April 30, 2012

So I was up all night trying to make a website for women drivers, but it kept on crashing.

Submitted by: tom on January 23, 2012

Unlike women, the older the wine the sweeter it becomes.

Submitted by: Japhethmaiyo on January 14, 2012

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
Virginia Woolf


What is said to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing she has already been told twice…
What is a woman with 1 black eye? A quick learner!

Submitted by: jay on April 20, 2010

The bravest thing that a man does is to bear a women in his life.

Submitted by: Owais on February 14, 2011

When a woman has nothing left to argue, she will either ignore you, cry or remember that thing until she takes revenge on that.

Submitted by: Arman on September 23, 2012

All girls can be just gotta act stupid in front of them.

Submitted by: sudhir on February 14, 2011

I don’t think women are better than men, but I do think that men are worse than women.
Louis C.K.

There is no doubt that all women are crazy. It’s just a matter of degree.

Submitted by: Kris on May 20, 2013

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
– Robin Williams

I never argue now with a woman, I just take my beating like a man.

Submitted by: John Breslin on September 13, 2011

Avoid girls save fuel

Submitted by: Rohit on August 18, 2008

You remember a chick fight a lot longer than you remember a guy fight.

Submitted by: KristenAshley on April 22, 2011

Women are like cars, we enjoy them when they are new because they don’t give problems, when they get old they give problems and we want to sell them.

Submitted by: jujuvine on January 19, 2012

If a tree was suppose to give a money rather than a fruit I bet every girl will marry a monkey!!!

Submitted by: senay on October 22, 2010

The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Phyllis Diller

There was a time when girls use to be intelligent, it was before the formation of universe.

Submitted by: aman on January 19, 2012

I’m a woman.. I’m smart. I never loose an argument. I can cook. I like to read fashion magazines. I love to be right. Men don’t understand us. We must have secret powers, because I don’t understand us, either.

Submitted by: ukrainian girl on September 9, 2012

If you see a nice man with great personality, good dressings, nice and high morals and character. What you call him?
Yes, a gentle man!
Have you ever meet a gentle woman???

Submitted by: Arshad malik on July 14, 2011

I never knew what hard work was until I tried to please a woman.

Submitted by: Nicholas Ohl on September 17, 2015

Getting in an argument with a woman is like being arrested, because anything you say can and will be used against you.


My wife sounds like an un- tuned radio…!

Submitted by: jimmy b crawley on April 12, 2010

Women have never been on the moon because it doesn’t need to be cleaned.

Submitted by: george on March 10, 2010

How to find a wife…
Step 1 of 2: Find a woman you like now but you know you’re going to hate in 5 or less years.
Step 2 of 2: Give her your house.

Submitted by: Amy on January 3, 2012

I don’t need an encyclopedia, my wife knows everything.
99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.

Submitted by: Suresh on May 28, 2012

“Women” – they have a way of complicating things.

Submitted by: ankit saxena on July 9, 2012

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