Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.
If I wanted to kill myself I’ll have to climb your ego and then jump to your IQ.
Me: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? You: Aww Me: Cause your face is seriously messed up!
You- “oh find it funny do you?!” Me- “hence the laughter”
Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.
Person 1: Is that you?! Person 2: Nah, I’m an alien from the planet obvious.
You’re pretty… See I can be funny too.
I am not bad. I am just dangerously awful.
Your silence echos your thoughts.
So are you single?…- For you? No. Nice top do they make them for guys?( obviously this must be asked to a guy) (When bumping into someone you hate and haven’t seen for a while)…Five more minutes and I would have started missing you. ..statement – I am at College/ I was accepted in College…response- Oh good for you. So is it to study or to be studied?
I love to hear you talk- the white noise is very relaxing.
If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
Are you sure this is your territory?
You : I know I’m just an ugly guy..*hoping to be praised* Me : awwh, don’t be sad, there are many more uglier people out there.. You : ^!%!$#@$@^@**@&^@%$@ Me : =)
Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.
Someone said that you didn’t have half a brain, but I defended you, I insisted that you did!
The details of your incompetence does not interest me !
Don’t be so humble – you are not that great. – Golda Meir
People say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit… And that comes from the people who don’t understand it.
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