I speak fluent movie quotes.
This is a bullsh*t free zone.
Move fast and break things.
I would lose weight, but I don’t like losing weight.
Not all men are fool, some stay single.
Why get married? I already get it all with no strings attached.
There are two rules in life. 1. Never give out all of the information.
It’s not that you are weird…it’s just that everyone else is normal.
I am a bomb technician, if you see me running, try and keep up!
I dig cute zombies.
This shirt is not see-thru. The one underneath is.
Out of my mind… back in five.
Don’t feed the monkey!
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
Approach me and say hello! If not you gonna have bad luck for the rest of your life. Wonder what it likes looking from the front? (Back of t- shirt).
Keep on walking but look down, you will meet an ant asking for directions 10 steps ahead. Careful while you walk on this street, I just murdered some ants and they’re looking out for revenge. Surprise me (Back of t- shirt)
A penny for a thought + a dinner date on you tonight. Just catch a glimpse not more. Cause there is a manhole ahead of you. Take serious precaution! I’m attractively n irresistibly hug- able.
Don’t keep looking at me unless you want to compliment me about my looks. Don’t keep looking at me or you will trip up ahead. Don’t keep looking at me cause I’m not interested in you, it’s just that I’m smiling thinking about myself.
Front: What do mechanics and marriages have in common Back: A good screw fixes everything.
Those who read this are ugly.
Don’t waste a perfectly good opportunity; do it, before you can’t.
Sorry girls, I only date models!
When God created me, he was showing off to zeus! Wanna hear a secret? (on back) then go ask your little sister! Ahem. My face is up there ^ some people are so stupid!.
Warning: You might fall in love with me.
Haters hate you and rate you simply because they ain’t you.
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