Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
Man is the only living being who cuts trees, makes paper, and writes “SAVE TREES” on it.
There are three kinds of people in the world. People who make things happen. People who watch things happen and people who say “What happened?”.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
Whoever said that nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
I live in my own world but it’s okay. They know me there.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
A lie will make it around the world before the truth has time to put on its shoes.
129% of people exaggerate.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!
I used to have superpowers… But a therapist took them away.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. – Bob Wells
If I’m driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.
The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine. – Abraham Lincoln
Energizer bunny arrested – charged with battery.
Copyright © 2006-2024 - Browse Quotes By Subject | Browse Quotes By Author | About Us | Blog | FAQ | Privacy Policy