Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks - Page 7
I have come to the conclusion that the solution to all of life’s problems can’t be found at the bottom of a beer glass. However, I’m going to keep checking just in case I’m wrong.
Beer makes you feel the way you should feel without beer.
I don’t get drunk, I get AWESOME!!
If drinking and driving is against the law, why do they have parking at clubs and pubs?
When you’re drunk, you notice the Earth really spins.
Officer- “Have you been drinking?”
You- “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”
Officer- “Son, have you been drinking tonight?”
You- “I swear to drunk I’m not God.”
Officer- “Son, can you answer me?”
You- “What’s the officer, problem?”
Officer- “I’m taking you in for the night.”
You- “I’m sotally tober though.”
Officer- “What’s your name, son?”
You- “Jack Daniels.”
I am awake, I might as well be drinking.
They advise me not to drink every day, so I just do it every night.
I never drink unless I’m alone or with somebody.
What’s the ociffer problem
I drink to forget that I smoke.
Friends don’t let friends drink by themselves.
2 beers 1 mouth, Bring out the funnel.
Let’s get drunk, make mistakes & blame it on the alcohol.
No one respects age unless it’s bottled.
Alcohol is not the answer to every question…
but it helps us to forget every question…
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’
– Jack Handey
Rehab is for Quitters!
Who says I drink.. I am just helping poor people working in alcohol factories.
I drink for those who wish me well; All those who don’t can go to hell…
I don’t have a drinking problem, it’s you who have a problem with my drinking.
Reality is an illusion caused by alcohol deficiency!
If your date ain’t what you expected, drink till she is!!
Happy hour is any hour with vodka.
I am not drunk, I’m just chemically off- balanced…