Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 7
If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.
Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
Save the world. Destroy humans.
He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.
I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
– Douglas Adams
Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.
I was once told I can do anything as long as I believe in myself.
I wanted to fly so I jumped off a building…. It didn’t work.
Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands
Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???
Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!
Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.
I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!
The grass may be greener on the other side…but someone has to mow it!
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.
Wisdom rules untill force goes crazy.
If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.
I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.
They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…
East or West, Home is best
…”I see you’ve not been to North”
My Friend doesn’t want Monday to come. I was thinking I could put the word out and see if any of the other days might do a double…Sunday, you Free?
Department of redundancy department.
It never rains on a dry day.