Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
When you’re working in the hive, you have but two choices. To bee, or not to bee.
Me: Over 90% of the stuff on Wikipedia is fake.
Person: Really? Were did you hear that?
Me: I read it on Wikipedia.
Person (angered): Hey, get that thing out of my face!
You (calmly): It’s not in your face, it’s in my hand.
The other day at radio shack a manager was giving out dead batteries FREE OF CHARGE.
If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
– W. C. Fields
I once prayed to God for a car, but quickly found out he didn’t work that way…so I stole a car and prayed for his forgiveness.