Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 7
Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!
When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.
In the end everything we do, is just everything we’ve done.
- cory taylor
A man mixed with a cat will improve the man, but deteriorate the cat.
I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
Whoever said that nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the heck is my ceiling?!
Save a tree, eat a beaver…
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
You never learn anything by doing it right.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
You can’t be late until you show up.
It isn’t homework unless it’s due tomorrow.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self- criticism.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- W. C. Fields
He has a face like a Saint – A Saint Bernard.
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Of course, it’s very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs.
- Joey Adams
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
I once prayed to God for a car, but quickly found out he didn’t work that way…so I stole a car and prayed for his forgiveness.
Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
- Honoré de Balzac