Jarod Kintz Quotes

I’m in good shape. That shape is round.

– Jarod Kintz

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Me and my wife are happy. At least when we are not together.
– Jarod Kintz

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A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.
– Jarod Kintz

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The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is it’s about 50 weeks too short.
– Jarod Kintz

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Competition is healthy. Especially when all your competitors are unhealthy, and hopefully sick and absent during the competition.
– Jarod Kintz

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Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers.
– Jarod Kintz

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You know what I like most about people? Pets.
– Jarod Kintz

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There should always be one more cat than person, so everyone has one to pet, and I have two to myself.
– Jarod Kintz

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Loyalty is for the dogs. Count me among the cats. And count me twice-once for each of my faces.
– Jarod Kintz

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I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it.
– Jarod Kintz

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I want to get married. But first I need to get a divorce.
– Jarod Kintz

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Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.
– Jarod Kintz

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Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans.
– Jarod Kintz

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I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?
– Jarod Kintz

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When I compliment you, I compliment myself, because I am who I associate with.
– Jarod Kintz

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I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.?”
– Jarod Kintz

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Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff.
– Jarod Kintz

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If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.
– Jarod Kintz

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The wealthier I get, the more money I will have to not have, because my goal in getting is giving, and nothing is better than charity.
– Jarod Kintz

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I’m in good shape. That shape is round.?
– Jarod Kintz

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