Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
Robert Orben

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
– Robert Southey

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
– Joan Rivers

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
– E. Joseph Cossman


If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
– Euripedes

My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of… Lord- only- knows.

You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.

Birthdays are God’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

Submitted by: Lila on May 22, 2010

To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.
– Billie Burke


Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!

What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.

Submitted by: David on October 25, 2009

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
– Bette Midler

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

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